II.

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"I could never figure out what you were thinking."

Jan, 30th


Today I went out with Jin, and Namjoon.

We went by the coffee shop we met at, and I felt lonely without you.

Before I even left the house that afternoon I asked you if you wanted to go.

You just shook your head, and went back to your stupid phone.

I was glad your eyes were glued to your phone screen though.

Because a fake smile graced my lips.

Was it wrong for me to feel hurt?

But I convinced myself it was just a one time thing

Maybe you were tired from the long day at work

Or wanted to be alone to sing one of the songs you were working on

But it wasn't a one time thing

You declined the date I planned for weeks.

And the Wedding we were invited for Jin, and Namjoon.

Even the surprise picnic for our 5th anniversary.

You always wore a blank stare

But sometimes you would smile

And it gave me hope

To try to understand you better

And to figure out what you liked to do

Of course it was to stay home and cuddle.

Those were the times you would smile the most.

And I was grateful for those sleepy hours.

Even though they felt

Like a dream.


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