Infatuated

Her.

*** (Jins P.O.V) * * *

I wasn't a very impulsive or quick tempered person but seeing the boys foolishly mess around during rehearsal had me picking my blonde highlights out. Although the choreography was quite polished, over the years my standards became higher. We needed to give 100% whether on stage or off. Yet seeing them all laugh usually calmed me down. Jimin was usually always there to lend a shoulder to cry on. Today was different. Usually climbing out of bed became easy because I knew my 6 best friends were always there, but I knew that maybe one day... they wont be. What would I do then? Sure I have the support of millions and millions of fans. I just don't know what happens next. I didn't even know if I had the capability of having feelings for anyone, let alone love.This band takes almost all of my energy so I have no time for nonsense flings and affection. Still these thoughts claw at me through the silent hours of the night,but they violently stir my head through dimly lit days in the evening. Seeing the boys mess around irritated me because I knew I could never be as truly happy as any of them. Jungkook wouldn't understand even if I plunged a bottle of milk shrieking at him to see the misery of my thoughts.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Namjoon stupidly trying to attempt a cartwheel.With his clumsy hands and his lanky structure, I would have assumed he would have landed on his face. Instead there was a sound like a delicate twig snapping into two. I wanted to scream right there. Namjoons horrible attempt of a cartwheel had completely turned into a terrible fall where instead of landing safely. He landed with all of his body weight on his right arm. Namjoon groaned with pain as the 6 of us stood there completely unaware of what to do.

"SOMEONE CALL FOR HELP, TAEHYUNG SEE IF YOU CAN HELP PICK HIM UP, JIMIN INFORM OUR MANAGER QUICK." said Suga.

Before we knew it, flashing ambulance lights surrounded us. All I could do was panic.For gods sakes four days before our biggest concert and Namjoon has already screwed up. This isn't going to look good with our manager. I grabbed his left hand tightly.When the officers lifted him onto to stretcher. I refused to let him go by himself. They had no choice but to permit me to go with. Namjoon seemed to keep a straight face even though his hand pained him dearly. The difference between Namjoon and I was that my feelings were always so visible. I was a constellation so carefully put together. He on the other hand seemed far away. Like a nebula. People kept trying to find out more but its seems like the more they find, the farther they were from the truth.Sometimes they got too close and realize the truth would only hurt. So they leave without a trace of ever finding that nebula. When we finally reached the hospital, Namjoon looked as if his tears could burst through at any moment. I wish I could bare his pain so he didn't have to. Alas the doctors rushed him into a tiny room. Leaving me alone even with my violent and persuading attempts to let me go with him. Doctors were such a pain in the butt. 10 minutes passed by when a bright red headed nurse walked over to me.

"It looks like your friend will be here a while so why don't you head down to the cafe." said the nurse.

I hesitantly walked over to elevator but screams from 3 doors away couldn't be unheard. It was a girl around my age fighting with a sick middle aged man. From what I could make out she had just called him "A good for nothing dead man who died when he left us." Along with "If you really love me then I want you to SHOVE a cactus up your mouth because I don't want to hear it." I giggled sadly. It seems like everyone has issues these days and no amount of words can solve anything.I decided to take a sneak glance at the bold girl. She was quite frantic and sad looking, but she also looked like she knew how to love. I smiled a little wishing her the best in my mind and walked off to the cafe.