Cimmerian Sunrise

Chapter 3 - ***REVISED***

               A knock sounded on Breanne's door, causing her to turn away from her bedroom window. "Yes?"

Becky slowly pushed her bedroom door open, taking note that Breanne was curled up atop her bed, hair disheveled, and still in her nightclothes. It was past two o'clock in the afternoon. Becky looked at her nightstand; a breakfast tray still sat there, food untouched. She frowned, but quickly averted her eyes from it to look at Breanne. "The Duchess of Manchester is here, my lady. She's in the drawing room," she added.

Breanne sighed. It wasn't that she did not want to see Alla. She missed her dearly; she always did when they were apart. She just did not feel...happy... not anymore. She didn't want to have to pretend any longer, was tired of doing so. Breanne shook her head, chiding herself. What was she thinking? She never had to pretend with Alla.

"Please send her in, Becky."

Rebecca nodded before leaving the room. She had a small hope that Breanne would take the opportunity to get cleaned up and leave her bedroom. Instead, she was entertaining a visitor inside of it. She wished she could help Breanne. It always hurt her to see the girl in pain...and the occurrence happened more often than it should.

Breanne turned back to the window, staring out at the passersby below. When her door opened, she turned away and looked at her visitor.

"Breanne!" A soft smile lit Alla's face as she came toward Breanne, discarded her hat and cape, and sat on the bed next to her. She grabbed Breanne's cold, pale hands. "How are you?"

Breanne's eyes were glassy as she shrugged and gave a wobbly smile. "I am still here...doing the best I can, I suppose. I have missed you so much, Alla."

"I have missed you as well," Alla confided, embracing her. Breanne paused for a fraction of a second, and then an easy smile lit her face and she squeezed Alla in return.

"I know you aren't supposed to attend, but I ought to tell you, regardless; I've recovered enough that the party we were to host tonight is indeed proceeding as planned."

Breanne sighed. "You'll forgive me for wishing it wasn't? Regardless of how I feel, mother is determined that I attend."

Alla's eyes ran over Breanne's unkempt appearance, her face softening in empathy. "She probably worries about you, Breanne. She doesn't want you to isolate yourself."

Breanne looked at Alla, shrugging again. She didn't feel the need to correct Alla's assumptions about her mother and her 'worries.' Not to mention, her mother knew very well that she was supposed to 'isolate herself.' Silence passed between the two women until Breanne turned to look at Alla. "I am sorry."

Alla furrowed her brows in confusion. "Why are you apologizing?"

"I know I am not myself," Breanne admitted, shaking her head.

"And for good reason," Alla finished. "I would not be myself either if I had to go through what you have, Breanne. Our friendship does not depend upon your perpetual cheerfulness. We share a bond, you and I. You are as my sister in good times and bad. There's no need for you to apologize to me for feeling as you do, or for not wearing a false smile. I have no expectations. I am simply here for you."

Breanne closed her eyes, and as she did, two tears escaped from beneath her lashes, slipping down her cheeks before she could blot them away... "I cannot describe all of the feelings I have. I can only say that I feel a part of me has died, Alla. And not just any part. I feel as if all of the joy, the happiness I had... is gone."

Alla stroked Breanne's arm and took a slow, deep breath. "You will feel that...for a while, Breanne. There is no way to escape such feelings. I know what it is to lose someone you love. I realize that for me it has been slightly more bearable because I have Brandon, but you are not alone either. You have your mother and father...and you have Brandon and I as well."