One True Bond (COMPLETE)

Heaven or Hell?

"What the fuck Kajol?" Shah Rukh's voice echoes in my head as I scrunch my eyes tighter to keep the blackness in and the lightness out.
"Am I in Heaven?" I ask praying for the answer to be 'yes'.
"No you're in hell," my eyes fly open and there's Shah Rukh standing over my hospital bed, his teeth gritted, eyes bulging and knuckles clenching the railing of the bed.
"Shah Rukh," I sound like a mouse. Terrified, small, fragile.
"What the fuck Kajol?" Shah Rukh shouts pushing on the railing and turning away. I try to sit up but my head feels like someone dropped a brick onto it and behind my eyes feels heavy, not to mention the aching feeling in my arms and the fire that turns out to be my wrists.
"And?" Shah Rukh shouts again banging his fist again the wall.
"I don't know what you want me to say?" I admit.
"Well it might help if you tell me why you tried to kill yourself," Shah Rukh exclaims holding up my left wrist roughly causing me to yelp from the pain. He throws it back down as a doctor comes in.
"Out," he orders Shah Rukh and he leaves without arguing slamming the door behind him. I stare at the doctor. He looks so young, with short black hair and smooth skin, maybe late 20s? He looks to young to be a doctor.
"Dr Hans," he says walking towards my bed and lifting up the clipboard turning over my notes, "do you know what's happening?" I feel like a stupid child. Of course I know what's happening.
"I tried to slit my wrists but evidently someone saved me," I say as monotone as possible.
"You're very lucky. If your cousin had come in a minute later you'd be dead," so it was Rani who saved me (remind me not to thank her later), "but your also very lucky too because your baby managed to hang on." Wait, what?
"My what?" I ask perking up at this. Dr Hans looks up from my notes.
"Miss Mukherjee, you are ten to eleven weeks pregnant. We had to take blood to test that no foreign pathogens had entered your blood stream and the phlebotomist noticed that you have hCG present in your blood-the pregnancy hormone," Dr Hans explains.
"But I can't be pregnant," I laugh nervously, "I'm regular." Dr Hans places the clipboard back into the holder at the bottom of my bed.
"Well that's not unusual," Dr Hans laces his fingers together, "some women continue having periods throughout their whole pregnancy, but others find that their periods stop after the first few months. It doesn't mean your baby will be any less healthy or normal than women who don't experience periods through pregnancy."
"Is this some form of joke?" I sound harsh but I can't go through this again, being told I'm pregnant then losing the baby, "did Shah Rukh put you up to it? Is it revenge?" Dr Hans looks concerned.
"Miss Mukherjee the test was quite clear you have hCG in your blood. We are going to preform an ultrasound on you later this week when you are more stable but if you are in a sexual relationship it's not uncommon to become pregnant," Dr Hans sounds so calm, so understanding. I close my eyes. This is not happening. Again.

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"Shah Rukh I want to go to my parents," I say weakly. After having the scan and seeing the twins on the screen I feel sick. Permanently sick. I haven't told Shah Rukh I'm pregnant yet. I obviously need to tell him but I don't think he will like what I have to say.
"What?" Shah Rukh narrows his eyes and walks across from the window to where I'm standing holding a bag my mum dropped off yesterday. I've been discharged and my parents are coming to pick me up any minute.
"I'm going to my parents for a couple of months I need some time to think," I try to explain but from the expression on his face Shah Rukh isn't having any of it.
"Oh no your not," he shouts grabbing the bag and pulling it off me, "you've put me through hell! As if I'm going to let you out of my sights." Shah Rukh grabs my arm and pulls me through the door and out into the corridor.
"Shah Rukh," I whisper not wanting to draw any attention but wanting him to let me go because he's making the bangles on my wrists dig into the stitches.
"I've spoken to the director and he's allowing you to stay on set with me," Shah Rukh hisses into my ear, "there is no way I'm letting you go to your parents." He pulls me roughly into the car park and I finally summon enough courage to tear my wrist from his grasp as he opens the boot of his car and dumps my bag in it.
"I'm pregnant," I say crossing my arms, "and I'm going to my parents to think about what to do next." Shah Rukh slams the boot down and turns to face me.
"Is this a joke?" Shah Rukh sneers. I shake my head as he walks towards me anger raging in his eyes.
"Shah Rukh," I mumble as he grabs my wrist again and drags me towards the car. He opens the passenger door and forces me inside. Then he reaches across me and pulls the seat belt over my body thrusting it into the buckle. The door slams on me as he huffs round to the drivers side and gets in.
"I thought we were supposed to be honest with each other!" He shouts pulling on his own seat belt before reversing the car out of the space.
"Please my parents are coming to collect me," I beg but Shah Rukh won't listen, he's too consumed with rage to listen. What a way to drop a bombshell and that's before he even heard what I have to say next.
"I don't care if they are coming or not," Shah Rukh exclaims, "you're coming with me whether you like it or not. I'm supposed to be your partner! We're supposed be going through things together not dragging each other behind." I close my eyes. If Shah Rukh wants honesty then he'll get honesty.
"I want an abortion." I sigh not bothering to open my eyes, "I don't want this baby Shah Rukh." I can feel his glare on me as he waits to pull into the traffic, the hatred, the disappointment, the frustration. Why hadn't God just let me die when He had the chance? Why is he putting me through this? Why is He putting Shah Rukh through this? Why am I in hell?