Pieces of Me

Half Past Five

THREE MONTHS LATER....

"Hi. Thanks for agreeing to finally have dinner with me."

"Would you have stopped asking if I hadn't? No, diba? So... go ahead and say what you want to say."

"Pero... I.. kasi.."

"Ano? Coleen is not going anywhere. Whatever you want to say to me, you can say in front of her too."

"Kailangan ba talagang..."

"Hahambalusin na kita ng breadstick. Sabihin mo na kasi gusto mong sabihin para makauwi na kami ni Meng."

"Cols."

"Daming arte eh."

"This is the last time I'm going to say this. Sit down. Speak. You're not going to get another chance after tonight."

"Maine..."

"Start talking or start walking. Your choice."

"Fine. When I met you, I thought you were the most intriguing person I've ever laid eyes on. You were an enigma. You were both approachable but closed off and that challenged me. In my head I thought, I'm going to break through your walls, just wait and see. And... I did. And I thought I was the happiest I could ever be. And when we first kissed, when we first promised ourselves to each other, I thought, eto na to. There's no going back. But then one day I realized, I miss the enigma. I miss the challenge. I miss breaking down your walls. I miss losing you to your thoughts. I got scared and I panicked so I left. Mali ako, I know that now. I should've faced everything like a man and sat you down so we could talk about what was going on in my head pero I was just so scared. Suffocated. So I left. I shouldn't have. Hindi ako dapat umalis."

"So basically, you saw a challenge, you conquered the challenge and when you did, you got bored and left. Did I get it right?"

"What? No! It's not that simple. Maine naman."

"Actually it is. And you know what? I'm glad you left."

"Maine..."

"No, you had your turn. It's my turn now."

"Okay."

Lord, ikaw na bahala sakin. Give me the strength.

"When you found me, I was in the middle of looking for myself. I had just celebrated my 21st birthday and I was clueless about what I wanted to do with my life. You see, I always thought I was lacking. That I was never enough. That I never measured up to what was expected of me by my family, my friends, those who taught me... I've always felt that I was insufficient..."

"Menggay, alam mong di totoo yan."

"I know that now, Cols. But back then, that was how I felt. And then... then he.. then this guy, found me. I wasn't trying to be an enigma. I think what you saw was my confusion and internal struggle. Alam mo ba na before you I never really had a proper boyfriend? Hanggang pa-cute, pa-cute lang, mutual understanding ganon... I never really trusted anyone with my whole heart. Tapos ayun na nga. You came along. And I thought I finally found someone I can trust to take care of me. When I was with you, I felt complete. Like I suddenly mattered. That I had something to contribute. You gave me the boost I needed. But you know what I just realized? You didn't complete me. You only made me feel that way. I only made myself believe I was. When I started writing and when my first book was published, I felt a different kind of accomplishment. Ako yun. That was all me. That wasn't you. When you left me, and then the accident happened, I thought wala na. What little progress I made into discovering my full potential eh mawawalang saysay na because who comes out unscathed after getting their car t-boned by an SUV? Pero I'm slowly bouncing back. I'm writing again. I actually just dropped off the first full draft of my latest book. And you know what? That is all me. And I did it without you."

"But Maine... we were so good together."

"Maybe. Pero yun na nga. Sinayang mo eh. And to be completely honest, I'm glad you did. Saved me the trouble of making the biggest mistake of my life. We're done, Lucas. There's nothing to rekindle. No love to come back to. We're over. Fin. Fini. Finito. I've moved on. You should too."

"Ganun na lang ba? Ganong kadali sayo?"

"Easiest decision I've made my entire life."

"It's because of that Richard guy, isn't it? Nakahanap ka na ng ibang magpapasaya sayo. What does he have that I don't?"

Ay jusko where do I begin? Kulang ang isang araw para isa isahin. At anuba naman Nicomaine, pwede ba kalimutan mo na din si pogi? Move on na din. Ayaw. Aba at talaga namang masokista ka rin ano self? Kalimutan mo na si RJ! Ayoko nga! Bakit ba kasi? Ieeeh ang cute niya eh. Manda ka sakin mamaya pag-uwi, keharot harot.

"Menggay! Huy! Nalipasan na naman yang utak mo. Kinakausap ka pa niyang nasa harap mo. Tapusin mo na."

"Oh. No, it's not because of Richard. It's because of me, myself and I. I don't need anyone to complete me or make me happy. I'm perfectly capable of doing that for myself. Let's go Coleen."

"You're walking again!?"

"Yes. And now, you can watch me walk away from you. Goodbye, Lucas."

"I'm proud of you, sissy."

"I'm proud of me too. Dahan dahan lang ang lakad, bes. Baka matapilok ako, sayang yung grand exit kemerut ko."

"Just hold onto me. You got this."

"Damn right I do."