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The car was full of silence as he drove to the cafe that wasn't very far from the house. He would look over at me a few seconds but kept his eyes on the road. I didn't know exactly what to say about the situation we were in. It was a comfortable silence. He knew where we stood or so I thought.
"So I'm getting married soon." He mumbled. I could barely hear him but I was glad I caught him.
"Aren't you excited?" I asked as I shifted in the seat.
"Obviously I'm excited. I mean I love Juliet with all my heart. She is so special. By next week she will be Mrs. Matthews."
Hearing the title Mrs. Matthews made my heart ache. I always imagined that being me. Maya Matthews. That I would be my best friend's aunt and in love with Josh. I would be apart of a family that loved me and cared for me. That knew me better than most people. Funny how things play out, huh?
"I'm glad you're excited. If you're happy. I'm happy. Juliet is a nice girl." I whispered the last part to myself. This might be one of the last talks I have with Josh, when he isn't married.
"Do you wanna talk about what happened that one night?" He looked over at me as he parked the car in the parking lot.
"W-What do you mean? The night where I ended up waking up in your bed at your house or the night where you told me.." I furrowed my eyebrows remembering. He kissed me. He still loved me. Loved.
"That night." He said softly before getting out the car and I followed him into the cafe. I kept my eyes down feeling my stomach start to turn. This conversation could either break me or give me closure. We sat down at a table and he sat across from me.
"Look-" I started but was interrupted quickly.
"Maya. You are amazing and everything about you make me crazy. As much as I want to hold you tightly I can't. I know it's wrong from me to say this with my wedding a few days away, but I have to tell you this now. Before everything changes." He sighed as his dark brown eyes looked into mine.
"I-I.."
"I know you are dating Lucas and I respect that. I just want you in my life forever. And I hope you will be. I think you know how much I care for you. I love you a lot. So tell me right now if you want I.. I'll stay with you. " He whispered as his fingers messed with mine.
"I love you too, Josh, but not in that way. I'm never not gonna be in your life. We played the game and we lost. We gave it our best chance." I chuckled softly as I pulled my hand away so no one got the wrong impression of us as they passed us.
"The long game, huh?" Hearing those words once again. He remembered.
"Thank you for waiting for me," I sighed as I noticed the sparkle in his eyes "Juliet is the endgame. I was just a stop on the way."
"Are you sure?" He whispered again.
"I can't tell you that. You have to know that she's the one. You're marrying her." My expression softened as I looked towards him. "I'm always gonna be in your life."
"Is this your way of letting me go softly?" He raised a single eyebrow which caused me to chuckle.
"If you love me. You'll let me go. If you love something set it free. Josh we are both in great relationships and you know that. You're out there with Juliet and I'll be with Lucas but I'll never not care." I smiled which caused him to smile too. He knew I was right. No matter where he would be in the world. I would be there for him. Whenever he needed me.
"Promise me," he started which made me look into his eyes, "promise me that he won't hurt you."
"I can't promise you that as much as I want to, but I can promise that if things go bad. I'll be okay. I'll still be here for you and I'm hoping you'll be there for me."
"Always." He smiled as he pulled me in tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him back.
When it came to Joshua Matthews. What would I tell people? He is my ex boyfriend who waited for me when I was 15 till I was 18? He cheated on me when we were together? That he broke me? He's my ex boyfriend and my best friend's uncle. He's both rough and gentle at the same time. His heart is too big for him and sometimes it gets him into situations. He is soon to be married at the age of 23. His fiancé and him compliment each other. The way they interact with eachother as if they're both in love. Maybe it is love. He loved me too.
His dark brown orbs. The way they looked at my blue ones. Are we in love? We used to be. He was my first. My first everything.
Sometimes you just gotta take a step back and tell yourself it's better. The endgame is better.
"Should we get something to drink?" He offered as he got up reaching for his wallet in the back of his jeans.
"Yeah definitely. You don't have to pay for me." I chuckled as I shook my head.
"No it's fine. I want to." His smiled peered down at me as he walked towards the counter. A large smile made its way on my face as I pulled out my phone.
Huckleberry. 🐂
hey can you come over later tonight?
yeah of course
good i wanna see you
anything for you my blonde beauty
thank you
for what?
caring for me.
always READ 5:12
As I read 'always' Josh walked back towards me with two drinks. We talked more about his wedding coming and what he was gonna do for his honeymoon. He brought up Lucas once or twice and It felt amazing to say he was my boyfriend. It for once be true. Could I ever get married to him? Maybe.
