Complicated

Chapter Fifteen: Scars

I've got flaws, I've got faults

Keep searching for your perfect hearts

It doesn't matter who you are

We all have our scars

Allison Iraherta - Scars

Over the years Grace had worked at the Crime Lab, it never failed to amaze her how close to her real family that the team had become. These were the people you spent the majority of your day with, the people that saw the worst side of you and of course the best. She knew their strengths and their weaknesses, experienced their devastations and their triumphs along side them. Over the time they sent together they had learned each others mannerisms. She knew that Stella clapped her hand to her forehead when she was exasperated, that Danny wrapped both arms around his torso when he was feeling insecure and how Adam raked his hands through his wavy hair when he was frustrated.

Watching Sheldon now through the window pane of his office she couldn't help but notice the change in his demeanour as he hung up his cell phone. His shoulders slumped as pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing the skin there between his fingers. It was rare to see him like this, Sheldon always had a smile for everyone but now he looked pained and upset. She had seen the same shell shocked expression on his face before and it made her feel uneasy.

"This may sting a little." Sheldon said, dabbing something cold onto the roaring heat from her shoulder blade.

She was standing with her back to the good doctor, shirt yet again pulled up to her shoulders where she held it in place so that the fresh cigarette burns were on display but her front was covered. They were standing in Mac's office with the shades drawn to prevent anyone from walking in and assuming the worst, the others had left to give Grace some privacy while Sheldon tended to her wounds. She winced at the sensation as he spread some more of the cooling ointment onto the next cigarette burn.

"I'm sorry, I know it hurts." he soothed, his deep voice calm and steady.

Grace bowed her head, swallowing hard past the lump in her throat at his kindness. She had been terrified what people would think if her if they saw these marks. Would they think she was weak? That she couldn't do her job? Those were the thoughts that rattled around her head, doubts that echoed in her own mind. She had let this happen, she had known Will wouldn't be able to stop himself but she had done nothing to prevent his furious onslaught. She hadn't been able to bring herself to apologize for where she'd been last night and she hadn't denied that she was thinking about leaving him.

"They're gonna scar aren't they?" she asked him, tilting her head her head even far forward, giving Sheldon a brief glimpse of the finger marks that marred the back of her neck.

"I'm afraid so." Hawkes responded, his tone even more reserved than she was used to hearing. "Cigarette burns nearly always do."

Grace closed her eyes at that knowledge. She would be carrying these burns for the rest of her life, no matter how hard she tried to forget about them they would always be there. She wondered if Will had known that, if he had thought that through or simply lost his temper when she didn't deny what he was accusing her of. There had been enough time before her return for him to sit there stewing on it last night. While she'd been experiencing the pleasure of another man, he had been planning her punishment.

"I think he did it on purpose." she found herself saying as finally the horror dawned on her.

"It doesn't matter if he did or he didn't," Sheldon said gently, screwing the lid back on the ointment. "What matters is that your safe now, your not going back there."

"I couldn't." she told him, as he helped draw the back of her shirt down to cover her back before turning around to face him. "Not even if I wanted to."

The cigarette burns weren't the worst thing that Will had done to her last night. She couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about the true terror she'd experienced at his hands. Waking up in the middle of the night to find Will on top of her holding her down with one hand as he put her service pistol into her mouth. He had counted to three out loud before pulling the trigger. She remembered hearing the dull empty click echoing in her ears, her heart hammering in her chest as he removed the gun from her mouth and laughed.

"You even think about leaving me again and I'll pull the trigger for real."

Those words had haunted her into the early hours of the morning, she didn't feel safe in her own bed let alone in her apartment. While Will slept beside her she thought of ways in which she could get out of this situation alive and somehow intact. She couldn't face a trial, she couldn't take the risk that he wouldn't be convicted, that he would make good on his promise. The thought of his face bearing down on her like that again was too horrifying for words instead she reacted on instinct, packed a bag and headed to the safest place she knew. The Crime Lab had always been her refuge, it was her place to to think when the chips were down and right now it was the only location that she felt secure.

"Grace." Sheldon said, drawing he out of her reveries.

She realized her chest was raising and falling rapidly, she could hear her own shallow breaths in her ears as she came back down to earth with a thud. Sheldon's soft hands came to rest upon her rigid shoulders as he stared directly into her eyes annunciating.

"It's over. Your safe now."

Grace was surprised to find herself believing that. She was free, Mac and Stella would round up Will while she packed some things. It was going to be fine, finally she was safe. Grace wrapped her arms round herself before speaking with earnest.

"Thanks Doc."

Grace rapped her knuckles on the glass door of the office that Sheldon occupied before pulling it open with her left hand and stepping inside. Sheldon glanced up as she entered, his hand running over his pained features as he slipped his cellphone into the interior of his suit jacket.

"Hey Doc, you ok?" she queried, closing the behind her to grant them some privacy.

Grace watched the struggle in Sheldon's strong features, she could see the exact moment that the comprehension dawned on him. Anguish and sorrow decorated his solemn expression as he put a hand to his forehead.

"My Uncle Frank had a heart attack, he's dead." Sheldon uttered, his voice straining with disbelief.

"I'm really sorry to hear that Sheldon." Grace said sympathetically, folding her arms over her chest.

"I just talked to him on Sunday, He was talking about his summer visit, he comes every July." Sheldon told her, shaking his head.

"I remember how close the two of you were, he made that sign when you got out of med school and put it on his lawn." Grace recounted the memory from a past conversation allowing the two of them to share a grim smile before Sheldon spoke again.

"The funerals the day after tomorrow."

Grace's rubbed her hand on Sheldon's back in pacifying circles.

"You don't have to worry about anything, we've got you covered here." Grace said quietly, her face displaying the kinship she felt towards Sheldon and more.

"It means a lot." Sheldon said as Grace drew him into a comforting hug.

"I'm sorry Shel, I really am."