i n n o c e n c e (colifer)

t h r e e

Jen's point of view

//later that day

I head into the house, with no Julia behind me. She just decided to go to straight to Kya's house without asking mom, which I know will get her angry.

"Hey honey, where's Julia?"  she asks.

"Um, she went to Kya's house." I admit and my mother seemed disappointed. I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but sometimes she just needs to take a chill pill and let us breathe.

"I can't believe her." She turns around, heading to the living room. I run down the stairs and straight into my room, looking at myself in the mirror. I pull off my jacket and sigh. I shouldn't of even worn this. Guilt starts to build up inside of me and I feel guilty for hiding what I was wearing from my mom. Although it's just a damn shirt that shows off my body, I couldn't help but feel bad. I'm such a baby. I pull off the shirt and toss it into my dresser, planning on never wearing it again.  I grab a sweater, putting it over my tiny body.

I sit on my bed, bored with my life. I feel like this a lot. I have one friend, Gillian, but she's been sick this whole week. I don't have an iPhone, I have an iPod that only plays music and my mom has a laptop in her room, but I'm only allowed to use it for a certain amount of time and she always knows what we do on it. It's not like I'll do anything bad, but I want some privacy. Julia has an iPhone and my mom has tons of things to see what she does on it, causing her to get into a lot of trouble, but she never gets it taken away because if she doesn't have her iPhone, then mom can't contact her. I have a phone, but it's a flip phone and it only calls and texts, that's it.

Sometimes I really hate how overprotective my mom is. She's probably calling Kya's mom right now to make sure she's actually there.

I lay on my stomach, looking out my window that is directly above the front of my bed. I look over to Colin's house and wonder what he does all day. He doesn't have any roommates or a girlfriend to live with (sorry holin) He's probably bored all day, just chilling all alone in that pretty big house. All of a sudden Colin's car comes into our street and up his steep driveway. I smile, watching him get out of his car with a couple boxes of beer in his hands. I furrow my eyebrows, silently judging him. (jEN JUDGING IS bAD hOKAY?) Alcohol is disgusting and why does he need so much for one person. Maybe he's having a party or maybe he's even an alcoholic.

He opens his back door and takes out all these weird things, like buckets and red solo cups. He's definitely having a party which means my mom will be angry with him and call the cops if he's loud. I sigh, brushing my fingers through my long blonde hair. I turn over looking up at the ceiling and groaning. I'm 14 years old, I should be out having fun like everyone else my age. But no. I'm stuck in my room with no friends or technology.

sorry i havent updated recently, i just came out as bisexual and my friends all hate me now. so what if i like girls and my own gender? does it really matter? ive been contemplating this for a few months and i finally did it and i hate my life now. this is really hard for me. im only 13 god damnit
;g;fktm;frkr + klfjgkf;rfiedsgemlfkljremf = me