Fake You Out

Be careful what you wish for

I stood in the waiting line, the waiting line to lunch, the line that seemed to stretch further and further away from me the longer I looked at it, the daunting cue setting my mind in a frenzy to get out. God I hated hot dinners...
"Tyler!" Someone yelled. My heart froze. I don't have any friends, who would possibly want to talk to me?
Were they refuting to a different Tyler? It then hit me that I didn't know any other Tyler's in my year. I stayed where I was not daring to turn around, my breath becoming un even.
Oh god... Another panic attack...
I managed to hide it until I herd my name being called again.
Suddenly I couldn't breath my food dropping to the floor as I ran.. I needed to get out of this school... And quickly.
I managed to find my way out and lent against a wall sinking to the floor as I took deep breaths and held back the tears.
"I just want a fren" I was cut off from my mumbling when I herd someone approaching. Oh please no.
"Hey, uh, you ok?" The voice was soft, and riddled with concern.
"Look pal, you really don't look good, maybe you should go medical?" It spoke again. I wanted to let everything out, let him in... No it would be a burden just like you are just by living in this world, I thought to myself.
I wish I'd stayed in the same room I was born in... Then it hit me. No one gets concerned about me.. This person doesn't care.
"Why do you care?" I mumbled. Not wanting to look at this person.
"Because I do? Is that a problem?"
I wanted to apologise, I wanted to run, I wanted to look at this guy. But my brain was becoming a bundle of tangled string.
"I-I" I started but was interrupted again.
"Hey, look don't worry about me, just please, take deep breaths"
I decided to just go with what he said and began to deepen my breathing, when I calmed down I could tell I was at breaking point.
"Thank you" I whispered before getting up and hurriedly walking off. I felt bad for leaving the one person that had helped me, but I couldn't let this boy see me like this so I had to run, didn't I? Again.
That's all I ever seem to do, is run from my problems, my life is a problem.
And unfortunately that's the one thing I'm to scared to run from... For now.
I made my way back into the school, I couldn't do this... I needed to get out again, the room began to spin as my mind went into over drive.
I'm stressing out... I need to stop... WHY CANT I STOP!
"Um miss I think he's going to pass out"
I was unaware that I was at the door to my next class, I tried to walk away but I found I was lost of breath. My legs gave out and I was out like a light.

|-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/ |-/

My head hurt, a lot. And I felt very dizzy.
I could smell the smell of the schools medical room. I didn't want to open my eyes, I didn't want to face the embarrassment that was slowly creeping it's way through my body.
"Oh my god your ok! Thanks god your ok"
"Wh-what?" I stuttered, at first I saw no one, but as my vision came into focus I saw a guy kneeling by my side, he looked as though he had been here the whole time, a look of pure worry spread across his face.
"Who are you?" I asked
"Josh" he smiled "josh dun, your Tyler Joseph right?"
"Uh yeah.. How did you.." I started
"The nurse told me" he nodded.
"Why are you here?" I whispered suddenly becoming curious as to why josh hadn't left me yet due to the fact that I'm a freak. I could feel my eyes gloss over with tears and I looked up staring at the ceiling as I lay on the bed we had in our medical room at school.
Josh sighed. "Because, I saw a guy outside the school, alone and in need of help, and I, who so happens to know how you feel thought 'I want to help him' and so I did, because i'm not like everyone else here, I actually care, I care about you and I'm not leaving you again" he said almost sternly. "I'm sorry" he said after a moments pause, "I'm sick of seeing people treat you the way they do, I should of come earlier"
Now tears were slipping down my face, I didn't say anything, I knew I should... But I didn't know what to say, I'm more of a listener than a speaker, unless I'm helping someone or getting my point across, which is hardly ever seeing as I have no friends or no one to listen or talk to.
Until now...
And although josh sounded as though he was just doing this through sympathy, the tone of his voice told a different story which really confused me.
I slowly turned my gaze towards him and drew in a shaky breath.
"A panic attack" I whispered "I get them a lot, along with anxiety"
I couldn't bring myself to talk any louder, I felt as though if I did I'd scare away the one person that decided to stick by me, I was curious as to how long this would last before he turned on me like everyone else.
He nodded and smiled at me "well now you don't have to go through it alone... Can we be friends?" He asked now looking a little nervous, why was he nervous?
"I-um-I I guess" I stuttered and he smiled. His eyes had a shine to them, his smile just seemed to radiate off of him making me feel almost normal... Almost.
His phone suddenly rang making me jump and curl back into that pit of insecurity.
"I can't... I can't not right now... Seriously?!" His face contorted into anger and frustration before turning into a look of defeat. "Ok fine, I'm on my way"
He gave me a sad smile before saying "I gotta go... Here here's my number, please... Call me if you need anything or want to talk... Please, can you promise me you will do that? Even if you don't want to open up but you just want to talk?" He asked giving me a look that said I'm not moving until you give me an answer.
I found myself answering without me even wanting to.
"I promise" I whispered
"Good, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?" He said whilst walking to the door.
"Yeah..." I said a little shocked at the events that had just taken place.
"Bye... Josh..." I whispered low enough for him not to hear as he walked out of the room.

"How are you feeling?" A woman asked as she walked into the room, straight after josh walked out.
I didn't answer making her sigh. She gave me a check up before asking.
"Who's josh?
"Oh... Uh.. A-a friend" i mumbled. I didn't know if I could call him that, was he a friend? Or was he just trying to make me feel better?
"I see" she smiled before sighing, "I've called your parents, they are on their way to collect you, this is the third time it's happened, I think I would start to consider medication" she said before getting up and leaving.
My face grimaced at the thought. No.. I could never go on medication, the things it would do to me... To blurryface... It would just make him angry...very, angry......

Hi guys, ok so this book kinda relates to me in certain ways, so please, don't steel any of it, if you like an idea please tell me first and I will say if you can keep it or not (at least I may be letting you take a part of it).
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