Enclosed Letter [Camren]

2. Camz,

You drive me crazy. God, I can still see it in your eyes. It's the reason why I fell in love the first time I saw you. Your warmth, your passion, your longing, your brightness, your love, radiating from those deep brown eyes. You say my green eyes are the most beautiful gems you've ever seen, but your eyes, baby, their depths haunt me every single millisecond. You never fell out of love.

Don't you know that you contain a whole universe in your small delicate body? I miss holding that weight. I miss you in my arms. I miss every fragment, every star that made you.

They said I had to be the strong one. In their eyes I am. In your eyes I hope I'm nothing more than soft clay, to be moulded and shaped any way you want. That's what I want to be for you, camz. Anything you want me to be, that's what I want to be.

When they made me leave you, they said it's the best way to protect you. I never knew of protection this way, and I didn't believe in them. But I had no choice. I couldn't stand in the way of what you've wanted all your life, which is to perform and inspire. We loved too much baby. We loved till it started to hurt us. I can't stand it. Every wound on you hurts ten times more on my own heart. I can't have us stop you from spreading your wings. I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm with Lucy now but it's nothing more than another stunt. I love her, I do, as a best friend. Never the way that I loved you. Never the way that I love you.

It's so hard now that I realise the difference. I won't ever be the same after you, camz. You destroyed me completely and I savoured every moment of it. I miss that taste.

Many times I find myself looking at flowers and thinking of you. Was I a trespasser that couldn't resist owning you when I saw your beauty, but in the end took your life with my cruel hands? I wonder if I would still love you knowing the damage it'll bring to both of us.

Yes I would, camz. I'm fucked up by guilt every night but I would. I would, knowing you were mine for one however short period of time.

I can't ask you this, I have no right to. But I hope you'll forgive me for being the most selfish person on earth. I never tell you, but I'm begging you, on my knees.

Please.

Wait.

Yours forever,

L