Predator

Part 11

It's been days, days of constant thinking. I was alone. I had to decide, family or love, right or wrong...Good or evil. I had to put myself in the mindset of thinking that Ward was not apart of my life anymore and the same with Hunter.

Without Ward, my life was lonely in the love sense of way. I'd have my family and I'd have my friends around but without him, I'd feel unloved, like a part of me was missing. He made me feel safe, secure and most of all, loved. He made me forget my worries, he made me forget about the world around us.

Without Hunter, I'd be on the road with Ward. I wouldn't ever see my brother again leaving him alone with no family. He wouldn't be able to look after me, I'd miss him and I'd miss Shield. They were my family and they looked after me. I've missed so many years with Hunter not in my life, did I want to waste anymore whilst I was with his enemy? 

As long as I was with Shield, my life would always be in danger. I'd be protecting people, saving people but my life would always be on the line. The same would happen if I stayed with Ward though, he couldn't keep an eye on me 24/7 and if we tried to live a normal life Hydra would catch us and kill us, eventually. 

I tried to think of the pro's and con's but they entwined into each other for whoever I chose. It would always be the same ending, just a certain part of me would be missing with whoever I chose. I'd have a life without love or a life without family. I could always find another guy to love and I could always make my own family. Why was this so difficult?

What if there was a third option? What if I just ran, ran as far away as possible. Leave everyone behind so I didn't have to betray anyone? I'd be completely alone though, I'm not sure I could cope with that. It seemed like the easiest option for everyone else. I wouldn't be hurting them as much as I would if I went to one person. If I went by myself, if I disappeared they both wouldn't be able to find me.

My mother told me to always follow my dreams, to listen to my heart and let it guide me in life. Ward and Hunter were both stitched into my heart, choosing one would rip out the other leaving me broken. I wish that she was here to guide me, to help me even though I knew she'd tell me to choose Hunter. 

I grabbed a jacket and slipped it on, walking out the door with the phone in my pocket. It was snowing lightly now, my feet sunk into the snow making them freeze almost instantly. That didn't matter, I just needed to get some fresh air, maybe it would help. I began walking into the woods, looking at the pure landscape, blanketed in snow.

I looked up amongst the snow topped branches, letting my eyes drift across the treetops. I spotted a nest high up, a single Bald Eagle sat amongst the entwined twigs. "I know how you feel" I sighed. Except, seconds later its mate arrived. The pair chirped away excitedly to be reunited, or so I thought at least. "Or not". It seemed even nature chose love. I stood watching the pair for a while. The Bald Eagle, America's symbolic animal, The S.H.I.E.L.D symbol. I have never seen one before and honestly they are magnificent.

 The pair suddenly stopped their chirping and stared down at something. I strained to see the focus of their attention, in the distance a family of deer were grazing amongst the little grass there were. A mother and two fawns, great, even nature was making my decision hard. The two fawns bounced around energetically, frollicking in the joy of their siblings company. I looked back up at the Eagles just in time to see one spread its majestic wings. With one powerful flap the Eagle took off, swooping down at an incredible speed, letting out a heart stopping screech. The mother deer reacted pushing the fawn closest to her behind a tree whilst letting out a distress call. But unfortunately the other was having too much fun to heed her warning. still bopping around, blissfully unaware of its peril. The eagle screeched again, just metres away from its meal. The fawn looked up, finally aware of the danger it was in, and simply froze. The eagle crashed down, gripping the young deer with its sharp talons, the grip of death. The mother deer watched in horror as the predator took off with its baby, crying out hauntingly for its mother to rescue it.

I felt sick, I wanted to help but knew I couldn't. Not only is the eagle far too fast and powerful for me, but this was nature. This was eerily similar to my life, except for one detail, the Fawn isn't going to fall in love with its captor. I was hoping nature would help me with a decision, but now I'm even more confused than ever. Theoretically thinking, Ward is the eagle, would he be able to let the prey go? Me being the prey. Shield could also be the eagle, on the hunt for me. Like Ward so often told me, they had more blood on their hands than anyone. At least I can trust Ward, kind of, I can trust that he'd give up everything for me. So why couldn't I do the same for him?

I grabbed the phone from my pocket and looked through the contacts. There were only two. Hunter and Ward. How did he even have my brothers number? I suppose it didn't really matter.

I had to make my choice today and once I've done it I wouldn't be able to go back on it. Hunter would be searching for me nonstop but he'd never find me and Ward, he'd be gone after a week. I'd never see them again.

I knew what my heart truly desired but that doesn't mean it was the right choice. I needed to do what was best for me though, I couldn't keep putting others in front of me.

My thumb hovered over the contacts as my nerves were getting the better of me. I wish I could just pick one without thinking of the consequences but I couldn't. I had to do this...Not just for me but for everyone. 

I took a deep breath and let my thumb touch the phone, making the most important call of my life. As the phone rang my breathing became shaky and so did my hand. My nerves were over the roof right now and I didn't even know if I could speak.

There was a click on the other side of my phone as I gasped and cleared my throat. There's no going back now.

"I need you to pick me up..."