bones Ω a.i Ω

5

I was in bed when I woke up. Ashton laid beside me with his arm wrapped around my waist. I sighed much too loudly and he stirred in his sleep, pulling me closer.

I tried to wiggle free of his grip, but he was too strong. "Don't leave," he muttered.

Pausing, I tried to remain still. I said nothing. All I could think about was my broken scale and my flushed dietretics.

"You ruined my life." I whispered.

"I was trying to save you."

"I didn't ask to be saved." I pushed him off of me and rolled out of bed. "You had no right. You and Jenna had no right to do that. I was fine without your 'help'."

"You were killing yourself! You are wasting away!" He got up, throwing the covers back. "I'm never going to stop trying to save you. I would rather have you hate me than be dead!"

"Well congratulations Ashton! I'm already dead. I'm floating and I will become air. You can't stop me."

He shook his dirty blonde locks. "You don't get it do you, Wiley. You don't let anyone get close to you and you don't let people love you..." He scoffed with a laugh. "I'm never going to stop trying to save you. This Ana isn't your friend. She's your enemy."

Ana: He's lying to you. I am the one helping. I'm helping you become a better you...a skinnier you.

Me: Please be quiet.

Ana: You're never going to silence me. I will always be here.

"Ashton...just please." My heart hurt in dismay and frustration. "This isn't easy, okay? You have no idea what it's like to hate yourself this much."

His face softened. "You really did miss out on a lot when you were gone. I hated myself, Wiley. I started to cut because I didn't know what else to do. So don't tell me that I don't know what it's like." With that he left, leaving the door open and an eerie silence hanging in the air. I checked the time: 7 AM.

| Ashton |

I didn't know where to go or where to turn once I got out of the front door. But once I figured it out, I started walking towards Wiley's apartment, I still had the key in my pants' pocket.

The moment I was face to face with her black door, I pulled out the key and pushed it open. Her house was spotless. It looked like it had been drawn and picked off of one of those home magazines.

Slowly, I walked to her bedroom. It was picture perfect neat, everything had a specific place. A box sat next to her nightstand. It wasn't labelled.

I got down on my knees and peeled back the cover. Empty boxes of diet pills and laxatives laid there along with doctor's notes and activity pages. A pair of 00 skinny jeans were there along with an extra small shirt. Old photos of her with family, friends, and other people were clipped together.

I never noticed how skinny she actually was five years ago. Her arms were stick thin as well her legs. Her head looked too big for her body and her skin had slotches of yellow and red. She wasn't smiling but she had an arm wrapped around another really skinny girl. I looked on the back and it read: Alyssa with a heart and a date: 06-24-13.

Another journal laid there amongst the old pictures and old clothes. I flipped it open to a randlm page. There wasn't numbers just journal entries. It was like a diary.

I went to diary entry 06-24-13, the one on the back of the photo.

06/24/13

Dear diary,
She died today. Alyssa died. Her mother called me today and she invited me to her funeral. I don't know if I can go. Doctors told her that if she continued with Ana and Mia that she would die...now she is. I hate her for leaving me. I hate myself for leaving her. I will continue to get skinny on behalf of Alyssa.

I rubbed my face and sighed. "Shit, Wiley."

| Wiley |

Ashton left and he has been gone for a while. When I had finally left my room after our argument, everyone was gathered around wedding binders and catalogs. They were all chatting amongst themselves and when I spoke up they had all stared at me.

"Hey baby sister." Ricky said.

The guys and Laurie were the only ones who had acknowledged me. My mother had a sour look on her face and Jenna's face just looked hurt and worried.

"Where's Ashton?" I asked. I played with the end of my long t-shirt.

Everyone shrugged and returned to what they were doing before. The front door opened and Ashton stood there with a box. A familiar box.

"We need to talk, Wiley." He motioned toward the box and walked past me, up the stairs.

I followed him, ignoring the looks we were recieving by our friends and family. He set the box down on my bed and started pulling things out.

"Please explain this," he said.

"Why don't you explain why you were in my house without my permission." I crossed my arms in definace.

"Do you know how many people are worried about you? You're hurting so many people!"

I laughed haughtily. "You're funny, Ashton. You know what? I can't believe that you're making me feel bad about this. I think you're jealous." A smirk laid on my face and my arms remained crossed over my chest.

"Oh yeah? Jealous of what?"

"Jealous of me being skinnier than you."

Ashton shook his head in disbelief. "That's bullshit." He started to exit my room and he stopped. "Just take a look in there will you? Get better for Alyssa."

My heart seemed to have stopped and he left. I looked over and saw the picture of Alyssa. She was smiling with her arm wrapped around my tiny waist.