Happily.

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"You don't understand, you don't understand
What you do to me when you hold her hand"

Harry sat alone at their flat, once again. It wasn't on purpose. Harry understood that. He just wished that he didn't spend day after day, alone. Out of his boredom, he pulled out his phone. All of a sudden, he noticed the alerts and notifications going off like crazy:

* awww Lou and El are so perfect together *
* #elounorisreal *
* how can larry shippers not see their love. What losers. *
* Eleanor makes Louis so happy! *
* sorry disbelievers if you can't see this is real love *

He was confused at first, like always.
"Why are they talking about MY Louis?" He absentmindedly thought, before the rush of sadness, emptiness, and jealousy hits him. After 2 years of hiding, he shouldn't forget things like this. He looked down at his phone again, and instantly regretted it. What he saw was a picture of Louis and Eleanor, out on their "date" today. Holding hands. (If you could even call it that.) Trying to smile. He knew that Eleanor didn't mean any harm. He knew Louis was his. He knew it was her job. But seeing these sort of pictures always made Harry's heart hurt, made it yearn for that.

Harry never really tried to imagine what it would be like to be free with Louis. Imagining it implies that it could happen, and even though he always tells Louis that they will be free one day, sometimes he's not so sure. But not even now could he hold his mind back from wandering. He saw himself holding Louis' hand, instead of Eleanor. The paparazzi were taking hundreds of pictures of them instead, Louis burying his head into Harry's shoulder to avoid the bright flashes. He saw himself gripping Louis' hand tighter, whispering into his ear. They were both smiling as they walked down the street. A little ways down the street, Louis untucked himself from Harry, and stood up on his tiptoes, reaching his little pink lips towards Harry's own and-

Harry stopped himself. He felt unexplainably upset. And it was all because of a picture of Louis and Eleanor holding hands.


"We were meant to be, but a twist of fate,
made it so we had to walk away"

"No Lou, please don't cry". Harry said. "This is to protect us, I promise you." He knelt down next to the little ball of loose fabric; a crying Louis broken down in one of his oversized sweaters. Louis wasn't taking this whole situation very well. Well, if it was Harry who had to get a fake, permanent girlfriend, he's pretty sure he would be this sad, too. But Louis is always so hard to get to calm down, especially over something he cares about so much.

"B-bu-but Ha-a-arr-y!" Louis blubbered out, his face hidden in his sweater and tears. He started to look up at Harry. His blue eyes were completely gray, lost of all of their color and usual sparkle. The mischievous glint was replaced with pools of tears, which broke Harry's heart. Louis then tried to push himself up off the floor. But, in his miserable state, he succeeded in getting up about a foot, and falling back down to the floor. So Harry reached down, grabbing Louis up by his waist, and pulled him to his feet. Louis was so upset, he wasn't even holding himself up. Harry pulled Louis into his lap, and sat down on the bed. Louis stared at Harry again.

"Harry," Louis started again, "I want to be with you. I want everyone to see me and you together in public, not hiding, not pretending to be "just friends". We were meant to be together Harry, and this just isn't fair. I don't want a beard! I don't want a fake girlfriend. I just want you." By the time he had finished, he was a crying mess again. It pained Harry to see Louis like this. But there wasn't anything they could do.

Of course Harry never thought management would accept them as a couple. He knew they would claim it was "bad for their image". But never had either of them imagined having to hide so much, that it involved a fake girlfriend? She was sweet of course. Harry made sure to pick someone he knew would be able to keep Louis happy in public, to at least try to make it look like they were a couple. She was pretty too. Her name was Eleanor, and was signed up to start tomorrow. El was aware of Louis' sadness, so she wouldn't be worried about that. Her only problem was keeping him alert and happy looking enough around the cameras. Harry sighed. Didn't management realize this was going to be hard?

Harry looked down to Louis. "Oh Lou. I know we're meant to be together. I love you. So much. Don't think for a second that this will change anything. We will get through this. I promise, ok?"

"Pinky promise?" Louis sniffled, holding out his shaking, tiny pinky. Harry smiled a bit, through his forming tears. He hooked his pinky with Louis'. Softly, he kissed his cheek.

"Pinky promise."


"'Cause we're on fire, we're on on fire
We're on fire now
Yeah, we're on fire, we're on on fire
We're on fire now".

Finishing a concert always gave Harry a rush. Like he could do anything. Especially a loud, exciting concert like the one tonight. The boys had just ended singing What Makes You Beautiful, and the audience was erupting in booming applause. They looked around at each other, smiling big like always. They met each other in the middle of the stage, happily looking out at the audience. All of the boys did a little bow, and waved out at the audience. Smiling, they sprinted off the stage.

Harry felt alive. It was indescribable. Like he could touch the sky. Like he was on fire. He ran off, into the backstage areas. He needed to do something. Anything. Something to boost this high he had. He turned around, to see the other boys coming down off the stage. He was taken aback by one sight, though. Glowing blue eyes, unkempt hair, tan skin glinting in the dimming stage lights, and a dazzling smile. It made Harry almost dizzy with affection. His heart, which was already beating so so fast, sped up to impossible speeds. And finally, Harry knew what to do.

Using his newly found confidence, Harry quickly moved towards Louis. He was standing on the side of the stage, looking out at the audience they had just left. The little smile he gets when he is excited, or proud, was present and was making Harry feel like he should fling his body off a cliff. He looked too cute. Harry just couldn't take it any longer. He wanted to kiss Louis in public. He wanted to be able to tell anyone that they loved each other. Harry needed to stop himself a second. He didn't want the fans to know yet. Maybe just the boys? So all he had to do was kiss Louis right here, backstage, where no one could see them but the boys and the stage crew.

Hesitantly, Harry gulped. The fire raged again in him. He needed Louis. Finally, he took another step. Harry knew that this would finally be the time, the time to let anyone, ANYONE, see his and Louis' love. Another step. He had a better view now of Louis' pretty face. His little lips, his cute nose, his bright eyes. Step. Harry was almost an arms length away from Louis now. The rush whirled around in his mind. This was the moment they had both been waiting for, but Harry wasn't so sure if Louis was ready. But his feet kept moving him forwards, towards the littler boy with the happy blue eyes. Step. Harry was so close now. There was nothing holding him back. He reached his larger hands towards Louis and turned him around.

Louis' petite frame whipped around, until he was facing Harry completely. His expression was confused and a bit scared at first, but he relaxed and smiled when his eyes met Harry's. He reached his tinier hand out towards Harry's, and Harry knew that this was the time. He gripped Louis's hand, and pulled him in close. He noticed the glint of panic in Louis' eyes, most likely the fear of people (more specifically, management or fans), seeing them like this. But Harry could honestly say he could care less. He rubbed little circles onto Louis' hands as he tilted his head in. He saw Louis' eyes brighten as they took in the brightness of the now close green eyes. Harry smiled, and in that moment knew that it didn't matter what happened, as long as he had Louis forever. Their lips lingered for a second above each other's, until they couldn't hold back their love anymore.

And the fire in Harry roared.


"I don't care what people say when we're together
You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep"

"
Harry?" Louis mumbled, his voice tiny and quiet from sleep. He sat up in bed, blues eyes blurry. He clenched his hands into little balls and rubbed at his eyes. Louis was a little dazed, anxiously moving his hands out for Harry. He didn't feel him. In that moment of panic, Louis started to pant, little squeaks escaping his quivering mouth. He was so nervous Harry had left him, and it wouldn't surprise him if he had. He puts so much on Harry, not always even on purpose. It's the fact that he has to leave Harry almost everyday because he has to go out with El, or the fact that Harry has to get labeled as a womanizing player. Or even the fact that Louis isn't always as confident as he was before, and he feels like Harry deserves better. Louis tried to call out again.

"Harry?" He tried, his already delicate voice faltering from the rushing anxiety he was feeling. There wasn't any reply. Louis held on hope for one more second, looking to the door. Nothing. He felt his entire world crumble down on him in one second. He slumped back down onto the bed, throwing pillows at the walls, screaming out in agony. He could feel the hot tears already staining his flushed cheeks. He felt the burning in his lungs, like he couldn't do this anymore. Louis knew that he had driven Harry out of his life, and now he has nothing left. He just screamed, and threw pillows and blankets around the room, and cried and cried and cried.

There was a muffled clamoring coming from the hallway, but Louis didn't even notice. Suddenly, the door was flung open with a loud BANG. Louis was too weak and distraught to even glance towards the door. He just continued to scream out, to scream in such pain that he couldn't even help it. The tears got thicker and thicker, and his vision blurred even more. Louis kicked and grabbed at the sheets. He didn't know what to do with himself. Everything was over; what did it matter if he broke down now? Louis didn't even blink when a voice shouted "LOU?"

Louis' heart clenched in his chest. Why was he hearing things? Was he already THAT insane? He just stared blankly ahead, unable to see anything but the blurriest of tears and darkness. The voice called out again. It sounded like an angel, a beautiful angel. Louis figured that if he had to hear things, he would prefer hearing them in this melodic voice, strangely soothing his burning thoughts.

"Louis? Oh Lou baby. Please calm down, for me? I'm right here love, don't cry. Don't cry. Louis, can you here me? Please look at me? Boo it's ok, I'm right beside you." The voice continued to offer soothing remarks to Louis, and it confused him a bit. He just cried more, because the voice reminded him of Harry. Harry.... And then it hit him. The voice wasn't some angel, it wasn't his mind going crazy, it was his Harry. He hadn't left him after all. Louis' breaths picked up again, and screamed out in realization, confusion, and happiness. He looked up in the direction of the voice, and he felt 2 strong arms pick him up off of the bed. Louis was shushed in a soothing way, and calmed down a little as the arms wrapped around him. He was placed into a lap, and let cool hands run over his face.

"Louis. My perfect baby. What's wrong? I'm right here, what made you so sad?" Harry started off with, his larger hands wiping Louis' tears, stroking his burning checks and swollen mouth. Louis tried to control his breathing as he began to spill out the details behind his anxiety attack.

"I thought you left me, Harry. I wake up everyday, always so worried that you will leave me after everything I put you through, and today you weren't here. I shouldn't have overreacted, but my god, it was scary. So scary Haz. I'm so sorry. For having you see me like this. For not ever being what you deserve. Why should you have to walk into this, in the middle of the night? You were probably just in the bathroom or something." Harry's fingers ran through Louis' now unruly hair.

"Aw Lou." Harry said, "I was in the bathroom, yes. But I didn't mean to scare you. It was silly of me to not let you know, or anything. You weren't overreacting. I know how much you worry, and there's nothing wrong with that. I happen to like being the one person who means so much to you, love. Don't apologize. And what do you mean, 'not ever being what I deserve?' Of course you're good enough for me! I love you so much Louis. Please realize that I will always love you, even if you wake up in the middle of the night, or get really scared sometimes. Ok?" Harry planted an airy kiss to Louis' cheek, and Louis gave a small smile.

"And Louis?" Harry questioned as he protectively layed Louis back down on the bed.

"Yes, Harry?" Louis spoke softly, intertwining his fingers with Harry's.

"I could care less about all of this, what anyone says, what you think is wrong. Being with you is worth everything and anything. I love you." Louis smiled as Harry picked up their locked hand and kissed it. "So much."

"I love you too BabyCakes, now can you... Maybe...?"

Harry laughed. "Yes Lou, I'll help you get back to sleep. Now quit worrying and come here." With that, Louis snuggled up into Harry's side, and drifted into a much more comfortable sleep.


"I just want it to be you and I forever
I know you wanna leave so come on baby be with me so happily."

"
Bye El!" Louis called, shutting the door behind his "girlfriend". She had been asked to come to Louis' flat, for some "alone time", if you could call that. What it really was was more like Louis meeting El outside the door to his flat, the paparazzi (that were instructed to be outside his apartment complex for gods sake) snapping picture after picture, then her coming inside for 2 hours, doing absolutely nothing. And now, after those said 2 hours were up, Louis couldn't be any happier. He liked Eleanor of course, and it was her job. Not her fault. What always made Louis anxious while she was here, was Harry.

Harry always had to hide. He had to stay back in his room while the paparazzi took pics, or anywhere there was a possibility of people seeing Louis with both El AND Harry in the flat at the same time. Louis slid down the back of the door, his head in his hands. Why did this have to happen? When would this all be over? He knew it was for the best. But sometimes he honestly couldn't take it. He massaged his temples as he thought. It might have been wrong for Louis to look forward to the day El didn't have to be his "girlfriend" anymore, but that would be one step closer to coming out with Harry. One jump away from happiness. One short walk to freedom. He knew the fans wanted it to. It hurt him to have to say that he didn't like those fans, or "Larry Shippers", as they termed it. He adored them, those clever and brave girls. But he wouldn't be able to truly thank them until they were free.

"Boo, is she gone? Can I come see you yet?" He heard Harry call from down the hall. Louis pushed himself to his feet, and started walking towards the couch.

"In here, love." Louis said back, plopping down on the couch. He sighed a bit, as he noticed Harry come into view. He was absolutely stunning. Harry was just standing there by the edge of the hall. He was wearing a jumper slipping off one of his milky smooth shoulders. He had on a pair of sweats a little too short, so Louis could see the bottoms of his legs. He had on a pair of little fluffy orange socks, which Louis said he thought were dorky, but he secretly loved. His eyes were bright bright bright green like always. Finally, Harry's hair was all undone from it's, now usual, strange "quiff"-ish thing. It framed around his pale face, and made soft curls over his forehead and prominent cheekbones. After 3+ years with this boy, Louis still couldn't stop staring.

Harry finally noticed Louis' blue eyes darting over him, and he met Louis' gaze. Louis blushed a bit, as Harry started walking towards the couch Louis was seated on. He slipped in between Louis and the edge of the couch, perfectly fitting his gangly body in. Instantly, he wrapped his arms around Louis' torso, causing Louis to giggle. He honestly couldn't believe that Harry was his, and loved these little moments when they got to show it. Louis instinctively melted into Harry's touch. He kissed at Harry's neck, which was the perfect spot for Louis to reach from this position with Harry's arms around him. Harry on the other hand, planted soft, tiny kisses to Louis' forehead, which practically made him glow.

They ended up sitting there, just snuggling and talking for almost 3 hours. Now, Louis had his head in Harry's lap, one hand clasping onto his. He was laying out in the couch, while Harry still sat in an upright position. Harry's free hand was absent-mindedly playing with Louis' hair, causing him to squeal out in delight more than a few times. It had been quiet for a while, the only sound was Harry softly singing to Louis every once in a while. Louis moved his head to the side a bit and got a perfect glimpse of Harry's face. It was as beautiful as the first time he laid eyes on the curly boy, and he let out a sigh of adoration.

"Enjoying the view, huh Lou?" Harry questioned, his eyes sparkling with happiness. He leaned in close to Louis.

"If I say yes will you kiss me again?" Louis sassily asked. Harry just nodded, and leaned his lips towards Louis. They kissed like they always do, slow and lovely and made both of them impossibly warm with happiness and love. Their lips parted, but Harry kept his face close to Louis'. Harry opened his mouth, as if to say something, but it looked like the words escaped his mind. His red lips closed shut. Louis, now curious as to what he would say, reached a hand up to Harry's face. He cupped his cheek as he looked into Harry's shining eyes.

"Babe, what is it?" Asked Louis, knowing he'd be about to coax whatever he wanted to say out of him. He noticed Harry take a breath, and his took Louis' hands.

"Louis. I love you with all of my heart. You know that. And I know you don't love Eleanor, and I know that you're doing this to protect us. To do what management says. But I honestly can't stand to see you like this anymore. Hiding; so afraid that I would leave you because of this whole cover-up. Well, I won't Lou, not even if you tried to get rid of me. And I want you to be mine forever, NOT in secret! Why don't we just stop?"

"Stop what, Harry?" Louis asked, sitting up. He gripped Harry's hands tighter.

"Stop pretending you're with Eleanor, and everything we have lied about. I know you don't want to do this, you're ready to leave all the lies behind. So let's come out, no matter what happens. Besides we'll always have each other."

Louis was getting so excited, but stopped himself. "Harry, what about the band? The fans? What if we cause One Direction's downfall?"

Harry thought for a second and answered. "Well, if that happens, so be it. I'll have you. What do you say Boo? Are you ready for this?" Louis gulped, and stared into those big green eyes. How could he say no. THIS is what he wanted the most in life, to be with Harry forever, for everyone to see it, too.

"Yes Harry, I will. I love you so much."

Harry cheered and kissed Louis excitedly. "I love you more Lou. Oh, besides. If we do cause the band's 'downfall', I'd happily fall with you."

Louis laughed. "Happily? God Haz, you're so cheesy."

"Yes Louis, Happily."



{HERE IT IS AMERICA. MY PRIDE AND JOY. ITS SO LONG AND WEIRD I KNOW. BUT I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS ONE AND HOPE IT GETS READ AND PEOPLE LIKE IT AND OH.
So yes I actually have to dedicate this one to My Elsie AGAIN. ( @partywriting GEESH if you don't know her or Banana-y and Finna by now bye.) she is an inspiration for me to write, ok?
And let's just say she keeps me a good little MAOW.
And Kitten Harry is my weakness.
SO YES I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT THEE LILLY DID LIKE WRITING IT!
Hugs and Buuterfly Kisses,
~ Lilly 😘💗👑🎀😊 }

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