"Crush"

They say it's normal to have a crush. They told me to follow my heart. They told me I could do anything as long as I put my mind into it. They say when I do these things that I want, I will forever be happy.

I don't think they were right
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Once I had a crush on a boy named Kurt.

I think I was about 10 when I first met him.

But anyway he was really quiet, but I liked him anyway. One might even say that I loved him. But for a long time I thought he never noticed me.

Until one day he came up to me and asked me to accompany him to his cousin's classroom, so of course I did.

We didn't really talk that much on our way to the classroom but we did learn a little about each other from small talk.

When we got to his cousin's classroom, he thanked me then I left.

A little while after that, he began to talk to me more. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. We were actually getting closer to one other.

We started this game where we pinch each others cheeks, and, well this game never seemed to end. I or maybe We, were having a great time with each other.
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But not every story can be this good without a problem
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And that problem happened on that day.

That day when I saw him, with her

Most people would just assume that they were just friends talking, but I could see past that.

I knew that it wasn't right, and that I'd have to stop it
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and so I did
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I did what I thought was right, I did what made me happy and kept them apart
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a few weeks later, Kurt didn't come back since, that thing I did that I thought was right.

And the week after that

And another week after that

Kurt never came back to school.
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But I mean, how could he?
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When I locked him in my basement.

It was the only way I knew I could keep them apart, to keep Kurt and that girl apart. I didn't think it could be wrong, because it felt so right.

But not just that, I did what I could to ensure that we could be together forever,

I did what I had to do

I did what they told me would make me happy forever,
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But they lied

I'm not with him, I don't even know where he is now.

I've searched everywhere, but I couldn't find him. I've searched everywhere and nowhere. I thought I could find him, I really did. But I couldn't. I don't even know where I am.

How could they? How could they lie to me like that?

So now I'm here, in this place, in the middle of nowhere, I can't even find a single drop of water, or a place where I could actually call home, this place I pressume is Hell.

And he, he is elsewhere.

Nowhere to be found.

How could they? I hate them! I hate myself!

How could they? How could I?

What was I thinking? I'm such an idiot.

I really thought I would have a chance at being happy with him.

At that moment I thought that was what I wanted.

They said I would be happy if I did what I wanted.

But no, I am NOT happy
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or am I?

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