White Shadows

Chapter 4

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"Leave Iora. I'm tired of seeing you moping around day after day." The ginger-furred fox licked one of his paws. "And get some food into your gut while you're at it. You're turning to skin and bones."

"I'm not here for advice," I snapped.

The fox lowered his paw and regarded me with a cool glare. "Is that so? Then what are you doing here?"

"To meet my brother. I want him to come with me when I go."

"Why would you want him to go with you? If you ask me, he will only remind you of what you've lost," the fox said. I folded my hands in my lap, perching on the edge of a marble bench in the midst of a lush green garden. My shoulders were tight from waiting, from the stress I've endured over the past few days. I tightened my grip on the slip of paper between my hands, full of creases from all the times I've folded and unfolded it. I found it only a few mornings ago, yet I've read it hundreds, maybe a thousand times. I felt as if the words were my only grasp to sanity.

Erua lehor ji blimen denaseur ol reminan.

I love you.

"I didn't ask for your opinions, Allia," I replied, but my temper had been soothed by the feel of the paper against my skin.

Allia flashed his sharp teeth at me. "Someone's certainly in a foul mood this afternoon."

I rolled my eyes. "I wonder why that could be?"

"You have no room for self pity, my friend. You knew exactly what would happen, yet you fell for him anyway." He sighed when I scowled at him.

"I told you. I wasn't aware of his engagement until it was too late." Far, far too late.

"Still, all of this could've been prevented if you'd been smart," the fox argued.

I moved my thumb across the slip of paper. "You don't understand. It isn't as simple as switching feelings on and off."

"Why not?" Allia asked. His expression told me that he was serious.

"Because—well, because—" I faltered. Why couldn't I just switch off how I felt? Why, after realizing that we couldn't be together, did I still long for Alec? And why did a crumpled piece of paper with a few words scribbled on it hold such power over me?

A soft footstep behind me sent me leaping to my feet. I whirled to face Peter, who stood several feet from the marble bench I'd practically claimed as mine over the past few weeks. My gaze flickered back to where Allia sat, but the fox had vanished.

"I was told you wish to speak to me." He spoke so formally. Not only to me, but to everyone who was affected in some way by his betrayal, be it directly or by ripples from his actions. Neither Alec nor Celeste had breathed a word about what truly happened in the Nindun caves, where Peter had appeared and given me over to several fatoris. And of course, I would take the secret to my grave. No one would ever know what he did, but sometimes it seemed as if Peter wished that they knew. That he could be hated, even just by me.