Bob's Army

The Train

"So, Bob you said you would figure out transportation when you found out how many people would accompany you on your journey. How are you gonna do it?" Ritchie said as he put a toothpick in his mouth. He crossed his arms.

"I'm taking them on a train." Bob said. Ritchie raised his eyebrowns and the toothpick in his mouth fell out.

"You're what?" Ritchie really couldn't believe it anymore. At first it was like he was joking but now he's got it aaallllll figured.

"I got train tickets." Bob said. 'Honestly Ritchie, what don't you get?' He kept thinking.

"God, how much did that cost?" Ritchie said with a note of agony in his voice.

"Well, I had to get 45 train tickets, and tickets for train rides that long there and back are $2.00 each so that is all together... Hell I don't know." Ritchie almost fell to the ground when he heard that.

"THAT'S $90! PLEASE TELL ME YOU USED YOUR MONEY!" He seriously almost crapped his pants. That means there's a problem.

"Yes, yes, I used MY money. Calm down." Bob didn't mean to scare his brother so. He just wanted to make sure all the pretty mamasitas weren't in jeopardy because of the clowns. Ritchie let out a big, giant, exasperated sigh. He clutched his chest. Connie was watching from behind at the dining table with the small children and she had the same reaction as Ritchie, only in her mind. She was a mess, but she always covers that fact well.

"MÍ VIDA ES UN TELENOVELA!!" Ritchie screamed hysterically. He was on the verge of crying, and quite frankly, a psychological breakdown. "Oh," He chuckled "So, you're taking a TRAIN ride WHICH IS THE ABSOLUTE SLOWEST WAY OF TRANSPORTATION KNOWN TO MAN, AND YOU'RE GOING TO THE EAST COAST, FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG! SEE YOU IN TEN YEARS, MAN. HAVE A GOOD ONE!" He was going nuts. He was smiling and laughing, throwing his arms in the air only like a true crazy person can.

"Okay, so I'm gonna leave now." Bob exited the door awkwardly hauling his possessions in his dufflebag. As he left, Connie got up to comfort her-uh, distraught, yeah, distraught son. "Okay, kids let's go." Bob said as he motioned to the road.

"Who are you?" a little boy asked.

"I'm your papá." He responded.

"That's not what my mom says. She told me my dad's Pat Boone." The little boy tilted his head.

"Do you even know who that is?" Bob looked down at him, clearly annoyed.

"No. But my mom says he's cool and I should be like him."

"Well he's white and he makes like he's colored, and that's NOT what you should be." We don't think Bob gets that kids that little boy's age don't even understand that racial stuff but he didn't care, all he cared about was getting to that train station. When they finally did, everyone stared, because who wouldn't stare at a big haired mexican wearing a wife-beater walking with 44 small children? Bob paid the man and got all the tickets. It took a while for them all to get punched out by the conductor, but it got done. That family of his filled almost 3 cars. Lucky him, not many people felt like taking the train that day. During the ride he asked all them if they were tough. They said yes. He also made sure that none were scared of clowns. They weren't. He got  his war strategized for when they got there.

STAY TUNED.....