The archer of love himself is here to complain about my life. The other gods don't really like me, most of the mortals really don't like me, and my family tends to be a little judgemental. Follow my journey to just see what all is out there, whether...
Hi. The name's Eros. You probably know me as Cupid, the fat baby in diapers who is somehow wielding a bow and arrow with hearts on it.
Yeah, my mom took some really embarrassing baby pictures.
Also for the skeptics out there, my mom is Aphrodite. I tried passing around a rumour that I was some great primordial being who is love and represents all that love is, but then my mom messed up my girlfriend just to get back at me. Another fyi, no one is 100% sure who my father is (it's a common thing around here) so that's that.
Anyhow, I'm here to rant about my life stuck as an eternal matchmaker and home-wrecker. Most of it will be about me and not the people I'm setting up though, so if you wanted to hear a lot of juicy soap opera stuff you can go back to The Young and the Restless.
So let's start off with a little bit of backstory on me. My moms Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty. My father's probably Zeus or Ares but don't let them know I said that (more on the gods not liking me later). As I'm writing this I'm about sixteen or so in human terms (people believed I was a baby for a *long* time) and I've got a long distance gf named Pysche. We also technically have a kid, but that's just because of my screwed up timeline.
The short version of my timeline goes as follows: first, I was a normal winged godling growing up pre-humans. Then the Greeks saw me as a adult almost instantly. Thirdly the Romans decided to screw up my personality and make me responsible for EVERYONE'S love lives. They also called me Cupid at this time. Then a dude named Apuleis wrote down the story about me and Pysche in which I was a young adult, which overall meant I got to skip my teen years at first. That's also when I had Hedone, my daughter (who is an adult right now- talk about awkward family reunions). Next I started to be seen as the chubby little kid most people still know, kinda because some artists started to mix up me, cherubs, and puttos (that's the real term people) and it spiralled out of control. I was too sexual for a lot of early Christians, so I almost died out there then. But then during our big re-vamp everyone started to like me again (the chubby baby of me that is) and I got painted literally everywhere. At some point some wackos tried to say there were a million versions of me. It was a rough few millennia.
Now that the gods aren't the main focus of literature anymore, we can really decide who we want to be. I've decided to grow up properly this time (which looking back on it is a stupid choice) which is why I'm about sixteen.
Yeah I know I said that was the short version and it ended up being a third of this entry but screw that I do what I want.
Have I mentioned my appearance yet? No? Well get ready for another super long bit because I'm freaky lookin'.
Let's just start with the silhouette. I am a teen guy, so I like to think I'm pretty average. I'm really slender, and am too feminine to have wide shoulders, but all in all not too shabby. Face shape is heart (cough, cliche, cough), muscles are toned but not really there, height is 5'5", and weight is 123lbs last I checked. Yes I know I'm a bit of a runt.
Skin tone is currently pale because I like to switch it up. Eye color is hot pink because I'm still a cliche, and hair color is a matching pink. I tried out some black streaks but my mom took one look at me and went "Fix it". That phase lasted about two minutes.
I've stated I'm a guy, but I'm going to say I'm really feminine. Who needs gender norms at this day and age? (Also: see hair coloring and size). I keep my hair buzzed on the sides, but the top is piled high with pink curls. Think Troye Sivan x10 and make it pink. I've got three helix piercings (two left, one right) and a daith piercing on my right ear. I usually keep silver or gold rings in them but I've got a few fun pieces I'll bring out on occasion.
My style is a doozy. Think a little punk, a little preppy, a little glam, and a whole lot of craziness. You'll usually find me in boyfriend jeans, plunge top, leather jacket, some type of heels, and a face full of makeup. And before you start questioning me, I literally am a giant matchmaker. Gender isn't a big boundary for me.
Let's try relationships. I've kinda got a girlfriend, Psyche. I say kinda because my mom makes her wander the earth every few decades or so, and we're currently in the middle of that. We decided to take a break before she left though, so we're letting each other branch out and see the world. My aforementioned daughter Hedone is the goddess of sensual pleasure and she's about 25 in human years. We've decided to talk as little as possible until I "grow up".
Parents have been mentioned, but most of the gods don't like me. You know how I said gender doesn't matter to me? Well the gods can be a little old fashioned. They'll have gay affairs and all that, but dressing as the opposite gender is apparently "inappropriate". I always retaliate with the fact they still wear dresses, but apparently "tunics don't count". Hypocrites.
Even my own mother's not a fan, the goddess of beauty herself. I'm a little salty over it if you can't already tell.
Have I successfully bored you all to death with exposition? Hopefully you're all still with me, anyway. If you liked this into be sure to let me know (I'm not that hard to find, really) and I might just actually keep up with this little story. Toodles!
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PS- here's a few pictures to help you really visualise what I look like (in the modern age, anyway). It's kinda important later...
