Eros Backwards is Just Sore

Première

Let me start off by saying even I'm cringing at the toodles part. It's a work in process.

The first story I wanted to write down in here was one that I originally told to my mother plenty of years back. Like, Ancient Greece years back. One of her helpers (her name's Phryne I think) had written it down as I said it, so the quotes are all going to be a little strange. And I've edited it a bit so it's less of my frantic ramblings. Anyway, here it is.

~
Phryne

I was preparing Aphrodite for a night out when a loud knocking came to the door. Her son Eros was there, obviously disturbed. His talk was so hysterical my mistress asked I write down his words to best my abilities, in case a certain God came along wishing to know her untimely delay. I of course obeyed, and wrote down accounts as they happened. This introduction and other details were also added in later on for clarity.

Aphrodite had been curious as to the knocks, and threw on a more modest robe in case it be her husband, Hephaestus. Opening the door to her chamber, however, revealed to be her young son Eros, looking quite distresses and also looking much bigger around the midsection than last I saw him.

"Eros? What's the matter?" She asked, her eyes asking many more questions than her mouth.

"ArtemisshotmewithoneofmyownarrowsandthenIfell-" He started on, tears in his eyes as he moved his hands around. They went from his hair to pointing behind him to motioning his swollen stomach to back to his hair.

"Child, slow down. Start from the beginning," Aphrodite motioned him inside and made sure no one had herd before sitting in one of her two chaises, her son lounging in the other and I at the vanity writing.

The boy took a big breath and started, "I was too curious for my own good. All I wanted to do was change jobs with Apollo or Artemis, and this mess started when I found them late one night.

'Come on. One day? Just for fun?' I still pleaded, creeping behind the celestial twins as they stalked a rogue drakon.

'Does this look like the time for this nonsense?' Artemis snapped at me, trying not to make too much noise.

I persisted, 'You two won't leave me this way!'

The twins both thought of the last times the boy archer had approached them; Artemis had been bathing in a stream. Luckily she'd heard my wings and had become a hound, biting my wings to bits as I landed. Apollo had been trying to get with another mortal Princess- she wasn't really prepared for a flying boy to come dropping in and fainted dead away. Apollo wasn't very happy with that and brought her home before leaving me in the dust.

'Each of us have our own duties, leave us to ours!' Artemis whipped her head around to properly scold me.

'Yeah man we left because we're just not interested.' Apollo hadn't monitored his voice like the rest of us and the drakon we were sneaking up on hesitated in its path. We stood still until the beast moved on, and Artemis smacked her brother in the back of the head for his rookie error.

'It's just one day! Here, watch this,' In an instant, I had snatched Apollo's bow and arrow from his hands, notched it, and hit the drakon in the base of its neck. It flung itself around to see its attacker, and I then grabbed another arrow and shot it right between the eyes, changing it to gold dust.

'Eros, the reason we hadn't already done that was because we wanted to harvest its scales for one of my medicines." Apollo placed his hand over his face, showing the vial and knife he had been planning to use.

My face went even redder them it usually is, 'Metrokoites...'

'Look, kid, what's it gonna take for you to back off?' Apollo sighed, obviously tired of this. The sun had gone down hours ago, so that was also part of his crankiness.