Rewriting Jroths Fuck Ups (CLEXA)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"Why the fuck were they trying to kill us if they are one of your people?" Raven inquired bluntly.

Lexa pondered on whether she wanted to tell them something so personal that she would not share with anyone but Clarke. She decided that they were trustworthy enough mostly because of the alcohol she had consumed. She answered vaguely, "Azgeda have never been fond of my leadership, so they try to exploit my weaknesses."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Bellamy began to loose his patience.

"The Ice Nation was the last clan to join my coalition. Their queen, Nia, wanted to control the coalition herself so has been trying to break me by destroying everything I love, starting with everyone related to me when it was discovered I was a night blood. They must know that I have become... close to Clarke and will try to use that against me." Lexa expertly hid all of her emotions behind her cold facade which was made even more difficult when Clarke interlaced their fingers, squeezing her hand gently. Lexa clenched her jaw, closing her eyes briefly and breathing in deeply trying to keep her emotions in check.

Abbys heart nearly broke at the sight of the girl. She was glad that her daughter and Lexa had each other to help with the burdens that they both carried as leaders. She saw tears well up in the Commander eyes as she said, "I just need to get some air." After that Lexa swiftly exited the room, closing the door behind her.

"Im going to check that shes okay." Clarke told them as she too exited the room.  

Once Clarke had shut the door behind her. She looked down the hall way looking for the brunette. Once she saw her sitting against the wall with her knees up at her chest. Clarke jogged towards her and as she got closer she realized she was trembling profusely, had a thin layer of sweat covering her body and was taking short, shallows breaths. She was having a panic attack.

Clarke had little experience in what to do to calm someone in this situation so she sprinted back to the room opened the door and huffed, "Mum, I need you to come with me." Her mother looked at her perplexed so she added, "I will explain on the way, just hurry."

At that Abby got up and hurried after Clarke. "What is it Clarke?" She asked worriedly.

"Its Lexa. I think she is having a panic attack and I dont know what to do." Clarke quickly blurted out as they were running.

"Okay," Abby turned into doctor mode, "I think it will be more effective if you do it instead of me. You need to sit with her and help to focus her attention on outside her body. Do something like counting back from 100. I will get a cool, damp cloth to help cool her."

Clarke nodded and sat down in front of Lexa who had tears streaming down her face, "Hey, Hey. You are okay. Im here, Its me Clarke." The blonde reached out and took her hands in her own, running her thumbs softly over her knuckles in a soothing manner. "You are going to be okay. Count with me backwards from one hundred in your head."

The brunette nodded but only seemed to calm slightly. Clarke counted aloud for Lexa to follow along, "100, 99, 98, 97, 96..."

Once Clarke reached 80 the brunette began to count aloud as well, at about 65 Lexas breathing had started to get back to a regular pace after another few seconds Lexa shifted so she was next to the blonde. Lexa then rested her head on her chest and Clarke wrapped and her arms around the older girl pulling her closer.

They sat there counting until they were at about 5 and most of Lexas symptoms had passed. Abby came back handing Clarke the cloth. The blonde tenderly wiped Lexas face.

"Im sorry-" Lexa said sadly.

"Dont." Clarke cut her off. She did not want Lexa to apologize for something out of her control.

"Thank you, Clarke" The commander offered sincerely.

"You do not need to thank me for such a thing. I was just making sure that you were okay." Clarke told her.

Lexa gave her a genuine but weak smile. Abby interjected, "You two can stay in  my room for tonight while the others are staying in yours?" Abby had decided that she was starting to actually like Lexa. It was clear that she cared greatly for her daughter and also respected her greatly. They brought out the best in each other and the older Griffin was starting to see that.

Clarke got up and then put her hand out to help the brunette up. Lexa gratefully took her hand, pulling herself up.

"Thank you, mum." Clarke replied kindly hugging her mother tightly. Clarke could tell that her relationship with her mother was on the mend. She knew that it could never be what it used to be but it was definitely improving. It helped greatly that she had been so excepting of Lexa even though she claimed that she did not like her. Now, it appeared that her mother had started to actually like the brunette, which is something she thought would never happen.

"I need to call a council meeting." The commander informed them.

Clarke rolled her eyes, "No you dont. You can do that in the morning. Right now you need to get some rest. Everyone is drunk anyway, a meeting would be useless."

"I suppose you are right." Lexa admitted.

"I am going to go tell the others that everyone one is okay and then I will come to the room." Abby informed them.

The blonde nodded then took Lexas hand leading her down the hall, opening the door to her mothers room, walking over to the bed and getting under the covers. She wriggled over to make room for her girlfriend. Clarke then curled into the brunettes side and they both fell asleep before Abby got back.

When Clarkes mother made it back to her room she found the two girls cuddled together. She smiled to herself. Abby then walked over pulling the furs so they wouldnt get cold in the night. She then went and settled on the couch with a pillow and some furs and found it was rather comfortable.

---

A/N: leave kudos and comments if you enjoyed.