The Riveting Lives of Russell and Sal

Deleted Scene - Ouija Board

A/N: This scene takes place during their sleepover. Pretend they don't know each other's middle names yet.

"What are you doing?" Sal asked, sitting cross-legged on the floor, watching Russell rummage through his backpack.

Russell didn't answer, and pulled out a box similar to that of a board game. Opening the top lid, he took out a board and a small, triangular object.

Sal nibbled his lip. "Is that what I think it is?"

Russell grinned. "Don't tell me you're afraid of Ouija Boards."

"Of course not. I just think they're childish."

"I think they're interesting." Russell turned off the lamp on Sal's dresser. "It'll be fun."

"If you say so," Sal said, swallowing. The Ouija Board was of the glow-in-the-dark variety, rendering it visible in the darkness of the room. Russell placed two fingers on the planchette, Sal followed with a heavy stomach. "Now what?"

"We call upon the spirits," Russell said in a mock-dramatic voice.

"Okay. Are there any spirits living in my bedroom, watching me jack off every night?" Sal asked.

Nothing happened. Sal was just starting relax his muscles when the planchette moved towards "Yes." His stomach tightened.

Russell snickered. "Do you watch Sal jack off every night?" The planchette moved to "Yes" again.

"I do not jack off every night!" Sal shouted to the board. "I was just joking."

The planchette moved to "No." Russell laughed. "What's your name?"

The planchette moved from letter to letter, spelling out R O G E R.

"Cool, a ghost named Roger watches you jack off every night," Russell said, grinning.

Goosebumps ran up Sal's arms, his mouth running dry. "You're moving it."

"No, Roger is moving it. I'll prove it," Russell said. "What is Sal's middle name?"

"S E R G I O."

Sal shivered. He never told Russell his middle name. 

"Sal Sergio Rondello. I like it." Russell sounded far too chipper for Sal's liking.

"Shut up, I'm Italian." Sal slapped at Russell's shoulder. "How did you find out my middle name anyway?"

"I didn't know your middle name," Russell said.

"How do you know my middle name?" Sal asked the board.

"O M N I P O T E N T."

"What does that mean?" Sal asked.

"It knows everything."

"This is stupid." Sal took his hand off the planchette. He heard a scratching sound and jumped. "What was that?"

"It's Roger. You've offended him," Russell said in his fake dramatic voice.

"Shut up, Russell. Just... shut up." Sal turned the light back on.

"Don't tell me you're scared."

"I'm not scared! I just, want to see what that scratching was."

The scratching continued. Sal clung to Russell's arm, shivering, then relaxed at the comforting scent that was Russell. Russell pulled away after several seconds, and Sal's heart rate rose again.

"Sounds like it's coming from outside your door," Russell said.

Sal leapt onto his bed. "Don't open it!" he shrieked, clutching a pillow to his chest.

Russell opened the door, revealing...

"Meow," meowed Mouser. He slunk into the room and jumped up next to Sal, curiously sniffing at the pillow he had dropped after falling to his knees.

"Don't tell me you actually believe in ghosts," Russell said, closing the door.

Sal scooted towards the edge of his bed. "You don't? After what just happened?" He glowered. "So you were moving it the entire time!"

"Of course I wasn't," Russell said. "I didn't know your middle name. But you did. You moved it."

"No I didn't."

"You were moving it without consciously realizing it. You know your middle name, so you spelled out your middle name. That's how Ouija Boards work."

"I'm pretty sure Roger spelled out my middle name," Sal said, shuddering. He picked up Mouser and held him to his chest, Mouser squirming in his arms.

Russell ruffled Sal's hair as he sat down next to him. "Sal Sergio Rondello. What a name."

Sal blushed, releasing Mouser from his hold. "Shut up, Rusty Russell,"he said, kicking at Russell's leg.

Russell rubbed the spot where Sal had kicked him and grinned. "I like Sergio more than Sal. I'm gonna start calling you that."

Sal kicked at Russell again. "Only if I can start calling you by your middle name."

"Joke's on you, you already call me by my middle name."

"Russell is your middle name?" Sal asked. Russell nodded. "Then what's your first name?"

Russell looked down at his lap. "You don't need to know that."

"So you get to know my middle name, but I can't even know your first?"

"You'll laugh."

"Good. What is it?"

Russell hesitated. "Jacques."

Sal couldn't have heard him correctly. "Jack?" He wrinkled his brow, then grinned. "Jack as in, Jack Russell?"

"It's pronounced zshawck," Russell said, with a strong emphasis on the 'awck.'

"How much do your parents hate you?" Sal asked. Russell shoved him, and he slid down onto the floor, laughing, Mouser running under the bed. "What's your last name? Terrier?"

"No."

Sal propped up against the bed. "What is it then?"

Russell stared down at the carpet silently.

"Well?"

Russell didn't look up. "Cox," he whispered.

"Cox?" Sal stared at Russell, wondering again if he had heard right. "Your full name is Jacques Russell Cox?"

Russell nodded, and Sal doubled over with laughter. "Jack Russell Cocks. That's a good one."

Russell shoved Sal. "It's Cox."

"You're a Jack Russell's cock."

"Shut up, Sergio. And you better not tell anyone."

"Don't worry Cox, I won't."

Russell shook his head. "So what should we do now?" he asked.

"I was thinking of watching this movie about this Jack Russell that becomes a wrestling star."

"No."

"What about My Dog, Skip?"

"No!"

"What about-"

"We are not watching any movies featuring Jack Russell Terriers, Sergio."

  "Fine..."