Tell Me How To Reach You (Camren

10

The boyband on tour with Austin and the girls are terrible influences, Lauren knows that, but they have the alcohol so she goes into their room without hesitation.

They actually get to stay in a hotel tonight because their next show tomorrow is only two hours away. The rest of the girls are so exhausted they all go back to their respective rooms, leaving Lauren alone with the guys. Lauren's not one to drink before a show, but tonight she is because she doesn't think she can stand to sit in a room alone with Camila after everything she's been thinking about this past week.

She takes shot after shot until everyone is on that level where they think that sitting in a circle, in a small room, while drinking, is actually fun. Lauren's so drunk now that when she see's the white lines on the bathroom counter she's not even afraid, and when the guy's see her eyeing them they ask if she wants a taste. Her conscious went out the window seven drinks ago, so she doesn't even hesitate before taking the rolled up dollar bill out of their hands.

Lauren's a mess, but she knows what will happen if she stays any longer, and she doesn't feel like hooking up with any of them, so she leaves. She manages to make it back to her room without attracting any attention. Lauren's never done anything past smoking weed a couple of times, she she's not sure that she likes the way the drugs are making her feel.

She walks through the door to her room and see's that Camila is still awake, sitting on the chair in the corner, laptop open in front of her. She smiles and stands up when the older girl walks in, and it's the first time that Lauren thinks she hates that stupid smile. She thought she would be asleep. She hoped she would be asleep.

"Hey you. Are you drunk?" the younger girl asks.

"Maybe."

Camila laughs and Lauren flinches at the sound.

"It's funny when you're drunk. You get all flirty."

The younger girl is standing in front of her now and reaches up to playfully touch her cheek, but Lauren slaps her hand away before muttering, "don't touch me, you fucking dyke."

She says the last two words under her breath as she walks past her friend and over towards the desk near the window. The mood in the room immediately shifts, and if Lauren could have seen the look on Camila's face in that moment, she would have apologized on the spot.

But Lauren isn't being Lauren right now.

"What did you just call me?" Camila spits out, her hurt morphing into anger.

Lauren laughs bitterly, "I said don't touch me, you dyke." She enunciates the last word so clearly that there is no mistaking what she's said.

Camila has never been a fighter, but Lauren must have really hurt her with that because she doesn't miss a beat before replying.

"Takes one to know one."

Lauren's blood boils. Her blood boils because it's true. Boils because she was the last one to know, and who the hell doesn't know that about themselves.

The drugs take over. She snaps.

She rips the telephone that's sitting on the desk out of the wall and launches it in the younger girl's direction. Camila avoids getting hit, but soon the entire room is being torn up. Lauren's throwing everything she can get her hands on. Lamps, clothes, make-up, trashcans, Camila's laptop, everything. The TV cracks when it hits the floor, and Lauren can feel herself yelling but she doesn't know if she's saying coherent words or just making noises. Camila is yelling too but she can't make out what she's saying either. When Lauren has sufficiently trashed every object in the room she starts punching the wall.

She throws a punch for every time someone told her she should like boys. She throws a punch for every time she ignored her feelings for Alexa, or Camila, or that blonde girl in her class, or Camila, or Camila, or Camila. Then she throws a punch for every time she was too god damn stupid to realize what she felt wasn't normal. She throws a punch for every time she didn't even think about the potential that she was gay.

Is gay. Lauren throws a punch for that too.

There's a hole in the wall now but she can't stop. She see's the blood on her hand, but she can't feel it, so she doesn't stop.

She can finally make out what Camila is yelling at her.

"Stop Lauren! Please, stop. Please, Lauren!"

Just as the older girl pulls her arm back to punch the wall again, Camila tries to come up behind her and grab her, but instead she ends up taking an elbow to the chest. Hard. She falls and the sound of her hitting the ground is what snaps Lauren back to reality. Camila is bawling, there's mascara smudged all over her face and she's clearly hurt, hand over her chest. She's had the wind knocked out of her but she's still trying to choke out words.

"What...the hell...are...you on?" she half chokes, half cries.

Lauren can't move. There's knocking at the door that won't stop and suddenly the door flies open, their manager barging in, key in hand. Dinah, Ally and Normani come in after him, immediately rushing to Camila's side.

Lauren knows that they are asking her what happened but she just can't speak. Their manager looks into her eyes before mumbling, "Great, she's totally coked out."

He drags her out of the room and down the hall and Lauren doesn't remember anything else after that. It all goes black.