Jaspar One-Shots

The Underlying Fear

Prompt: Joe's hidden fears of going public causes problems in his relationship.
A/N: Hello :) How are you? I hope you enjoy this little one shot, be sure to comment and vote like you always do because nothing inspires me or pushes me forward more than your amazing support. I love you all! ☺️💞
Published: 06/10/16
Word Count: 1749

~~~~~
July 2016

"Caspar," Joe pleaded desperately, his hands reaching out to empty air as a fast-paced Caspar lurched out of his reach.

"Don't, just don't. I'm done." The younger boy's voice was flat and robotic, not wanting to make this situation any worse by crying. There are only so many times that you can have fights and arguments, and there are only so many times you can sleep on your own in a too big of a bed with a hurting heart before you have to ask yourself why you're doing it. It should be so simple, a boy in love with another boy, no cares, no worries, no secrets. Caspar was done with secrets.

"Do you mean it? Like, me and you? Or-"

"For fuck's sake, Joe, open your eyes. I'm done with being your secret, I'm done with treading carefully every day around you trying to avoid another screaming match. It's clearly not working, and it shouldn't be like this!" Caspar yelled. "It-" He sighed with tired his tired eyes shut and his tense fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. "This isn't a relationship, anymore, and I just can't pretend that it is. I'm sorry."

Joe stood paralysed at the top of the banister, his feet balancing over the top step with nervousness and the sleeves of his hoodie draping off his slender arms, fiddling the material with his thumbs. "Why don't you understand?" He whimpered helplessly.

"Oh, I do understand, I just don't like it." His trainers were on. His backpack sat on his shoulders under his coat. His phone was clutched tightly in his hand. His face was tearless. "Bye."

"Goodbye." Joe whispered back, but only the silent of the apartment and the slam of the door heard him.

~~~~~

It was times like this that Caspar was grateful his relationship had not been a public one, as he could cry as much as he wanted without worrying about fans, or videos to explain the messy situation. He could hold onto Josh as tightly ad he wanted, bursting into fresh hysterics as his best friend held him up before eventually leading him go sit down in the kitchen, a warm cup of coffee held in both of his shaking hands.

"It was so hard not to cry, Josh. He looked so helpless- oh god, have I made a mistake?" Caspar rambled, looking up from his mug miserably.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"I think,- I think this is what you needed. For both of you." Josh said slowly. "You were both unhappy for quite sometime, maybe this is what's best."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too but, I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm a mess." Caspar chuckled, but there was no humour in his voice; only pity.

"Come on, there is only one thing for the break up blues." Josh smiled.

"Fifa?" Caspar questioned before his back had hit the pillows and a low sigh left his lips.

"Fifa."

~~~~~

Joe's phone had been ringing continuously for the last 20 minutes, but he could barely hear it from his room. He knew it would be either his sister, his mum or dad perhaps or one of his mates asking him on a lads night out, and quite frankly, he just didn't want to talk to anybody right now. His voice would sound squeaky and scratchy and lead to him being asked questions he didn't want to give answers too, and so instead of causing concern, he decided to just use the 'it was on silent' method later on. He was busy.