The Oregano Saga

sad weedy pasta :((

Dans POV

They dragged me out of my cell, "I STABBED HER,, I stabbed her in the, in the earlobe," I sobbed. No no no no let me stay, don't let them do this to me

:(((((((

They drop me off home, where I flop onto the couch.
"Daddy i tried to do the dishes but i accidentally shot the window instead, now it's slightly broken." Ace mutters.

"It ok son,, I'll just,, fix it or cover it w some weed."
He nods.
I get up and attempt to make some pasta for Ace and I. It's gonna be sad pasta. Bc I'm sad. We're all sad. If I stayed I would of been
:))
Not
:((

sad weed pasta :((

Sad sad weed pasta

I get all my ingredients and cook it up
I boil the pasta and put sum weed in it to give it that extra kicK

I cannot beleaf they took me out like that, how com the others got to stay >:(
That's so annoying Nat always keeps kyle in handcuffs I want to b cuffed

anD it wasn't my fault chives deathed. It was the 3 dicK alien dude
SMH

"AcE mY FIRST /ADooktEd CHILD WE FINNA EATIN NOW BB" I shout
He doesn't reply, oh no he dieded
My child nooo

I run to him in sonic speed and kneel down to him, he was dieded on the couch, lazy bitch. I cry on him,
"Dad what the h*ck"

"AcE DONT FUCKINF SWEAR" I gasp
Oh lawdddd he's alive
He L I V E
"We eating sad sad weedy pasta"
He shrugs and walks over to the table. I set a plate in front of him,
Hmm It smells like burning weed

MY PA S T A

I run to the pot and take it off the stove, it's burnt R U srs
I slide down the cupboard and think about my life choices, I nearly burnt down the kitchen,, o no
My,,, pasta

I can't do this anymore more, I sigh, a single tear drops from my eye
No no don't cry

I suck my tears back in and serve the burnt musty crusty ass weed pasta to ace

"Bone Apple tea" I choke out.

He smiles and eats it. I i don't think i can do this anymore, i need Juls, I walk over to the window and accidentally knock over a plant, making it spill all of the soil

Hhhhhhhh

I then trip over my own two feet. I sit in the corner and cry

WhERES JULS

I take my phone out, "r-ralph, I need ur help,,,, I'm a me,, ss"

"I'm here."

W0w he got here sonic fast.
I collapse on the floor and stare at the ceiling.
"Dan?" Ralph calls out.

"Uncle Ralph!" Ace says.

"Hey ace, how ya been buddy?"

"Good, but dad is having an existential crisis"

They both come over to me and ask if I'm okay.

I'm not okay. I was dragged out of my home,, my sanctuary,,  prison.
Juls, is still in there and I can't function without her.

"I ordered pizza 10 mins ago it must be here" Ralph says

I stop him and get my wallet. I open the door and take the pizza, and thank the pizza boy.
"Hey dude this is Monopoly money!" He says.

I panic and grab my gun and point it at him "GET OUT, GET OUT OF MY CAUCASIAN HOME"

What if they,, never get out,
I can't do this by myslef I need juls

I need juuuullllssss

Weed can't keep me going,, i have cocaine in my pantry so I can sell that,, ok ok food we have that figured out

+

2 days later

I took ace out to the park where i saw som big weeds, it was rly pretty, don't know why parents would let their children near it

I sit on the grass next to ace, I stare at the sky, looking at the kush clouds
They send me to sleep

"Daddy! Dad! Dan, dan, dad, dan , dad" ace poked

I kolted right up, FUCK it raining, we gotta go. I take aces hand and run to the apartment complex, I accidentally press penthouse floor, where I found them mY FRIENDS YAYYY

I stood there in shock, and then run over to juls and hug her
"Inearlyburntdownthekitchen,,"

"dAN WHAT"

-ninagano (Ninadxnise on twitter)

Bonus chap in dans pov ay ay turn up