Youth. ~Jolex~

One day we'll reveal the truth.

"No. I don't love you anymore." Alex said

My heart ripped out of my chest and fell straight to the ground. I felt my world collapsing in on me. I had so many questions but I couldn't open my mouth. All I could do was breathe. I wanted to stop breathing, to never breathe again. I wanted to die in this moment but my stupid lungs kept replenishing my air.

"Is there someone else?" I finally choke out.
"No--God, no. The feeling is just gone. I'm sorry."

I felt crying but my eyes were so dry I couldn't all I could do is stare at the ground and breathe. I swallow in disbelief and head out the door.

"Goodbye." I say
"Jo,wait!"
"For what. What should I wait for."

A silence falls between us. I stay with my back turned to him and answer my own question, "Should I wait for
you to fall in live with me again? Should I wait for you to explain why
you don't love me anymore? Or should I walk out."

"I-I don't know. Just please don't go. Not right now."

I turn my back and run up to him. I hug him as tears fall down my face. He was crying too. Alex never cries.

We hug for the rest of the night and finally we decide to sleep. Alex and I retrieve to our old habits of our spooning position at the end of the night.

I wake up in the middle of the night and turn to my left to see a sleeping Alex. He looked so peaceful. As if he never told me he didn't love me. Like he never cheated on me. Like we were still happily married. I rest my hand and my head on his chest. I listen to his heartbeat and mine syncs up with his, along with my breath. I whisper," I know you can't hear me and you won't remember this but I still love you. And I always will. No matter how many women you sleep with, whether we are together of not. I just can't seem to stop loving you. I don't know if that makes me pathetic or whatever but all I know is that loving you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And loving
you means I want you to be happy. And I don't make you happy anymore so I'm walking away. I'll still be at the hospital but I'm not going to be on peds or your service anymore. And it doesn't mean I don't love you it means I want you to be happy. So when you wake up I will be gone and I'm sorry it has to be this way but I don't know any other way to go about this." I pause for a brief moment and say, "I love you, Alex Karev." I stand up and tie my shoes swiftly and leave, quietly shutting the door behind me.
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I know this might be a little confusing for some people so check out the authors note. If you have anymore questions please ask them in the comments but basically the last chapter I published a couple days wasn't giving me enough room to work with creatively so I decided to delete and re-wrote the chapter how I originally wanted it to be. Thanks for understanding ☺️✌️️