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Scarlett Chapter 3

Let me take you on my journey. I hope you'll find yourself in it.

                        ¤******¤

When you invest in someone, they make you vulnerable. And when you see them move on, it hurts and just hurts. It grips your heart and stab you in places you thought weren't possible to bleed. It takes your ability to breathe.  It makes you weak, and I can't afford any weakness in me.

I thought letting Addie go would be easy.

                       ¤*****¤

We sat comfortably in patio chairs on terrace in Safe. It was one of the privileges that were only provided on Saturdays. Not to say, it wasn't supervised for an hour, then a woman named Pam came to check up on us. We were sitting and relaxing in the cold, September air.

The cool air was blowing Addie's hair in all the places, and her shoulders were hunched back. She was deeply engrossed in a bug that she's drawing and I creepily checked her out. She rubbed and made circles on the paper with her charcoal pencil and I smiled at her cute expression and curved lips.

She was reluctant on completing an arch with her pencil that she tried to perfect.

I hesitated to break her concentration but John Mayer was making me pretty excited.

I took my sweatpants clad legs and nestled it beside the space on her chair. She still concentrating, scooted.  I tried to tickle her with my shoes, but she still didn't give up.

I coughed.

"W-h-h-at?" She laughed.

I shook my head, coyly, "nothing. "

I attacked her sides my with my shoes again.

"Cut it out, Scar. You hear me. "

I laughed and tripped over the chair.

Her eyes were suddenly so hesitant and protective. It was like she was holding back. She wanted to touch me but she couldn't. Or she wouldn't.

                

                         ¤*****¤

She was sitting on her chair writing an essay in the common room. I was getting antsy. I was writing in the essay about my manic episodes. It was very personal and it made me want to not give everything out.

I want to hide my scars and I was scared that they'll seep out on in any form in my writing. I was always a private person and my life had been so sheltered.

I remember my mother back at home, looking at me scared and perplexed, not knowing what to say to me. It was a scary mixture. One that I wish I never have to relive again.

Addie threw a paper ball at me. It had a note. It said, "What's up, cutie?"

I smiled when I saw that note and her cute penmanship scribbled all over the crunched paper. I looked up at her, she winked back at me. It made me grin widely.

     

                        ¤******¤

We wanted to run. Yes, Addie wanted to run with me.

We wanted to get away to some place and I wanted it too. You should've seen her cute, brown, puppy dog eyes with long lashes looking at me with such hope and enthusiasm. She made it very difficult to say 'no' to her.

Her soft, warm fingers were tracing mine when she confessed, "I want to run. With you."

I shook my head, at her gullibility and childishness.