Pages Won't Turn

Addison Chapter 4

I had been home and it was different adjusting. I looked the same on the outside but on the inside I wasn't so quick to turn to the lighter I hid in my wallet. I understood why my family didn't feel like they could trust me. I wanted to show them my world and where I started to change. I couldn't paint them a picture over the phone. So seeing that there was a reunion for Safe was just what I thought would do the trick. Matt agreed to take Reese and I back. We even agreed to make a drive out of the way to get Scarlett in Cincinnati then off to Chicago. The drive was long and I was nervous but excited to see a small part of Scarlett's world. I held my breath when we pulled into her driveway. This wasn't only a big deal to me and Scarlett but Reese would be meeting someone she seemed to form an instant bond with. I thought it was just me that was captivated by Scarlett but Reese being 5 years old was thrilled to make a new friend. We spent the night in a hotel before going to the reunion. I thought it was cute that Reese eagerly cuddled up to Scarlett in bed and fell asleep. I took a picture so I could always remember the moment.

In the morning I didn't realize how nervous I would be. I had never been around so many people who were like me and did what I did to cope with our pain. I wasn't the freak with the skin grafts. It was nice to finally blend in. Our families were ushered in groups up to the floor we were at. It looked the same but felt different. It was like letting strangers into a secret club that they wouldn't fully understand. I was given a chance to speak and share my story. I can't remember why I said yes. I normally don't like to draw attention to myself. The room was packed and people were even standing along the back wall. I stood up there and I froze. The look on my face must have spoken volumes to Scarlett. She was smarter than I thought and knowing I had my blue tooth in my ear she called me. I answered and she said "look at me. It's you and me. Talk to me and tell me your story. You can do this." That's all it took and I focused on her. I spoke with a passion to try to bridge the gap to help people understand why I carry the scars on myself. When it was over I sat back down and thought yet again I see that Scarlett makes it possible for me to achieve things I didn't think I could do.

It was nice to visit but even better to know that Scarlett would be coming home with me for a month. She would see my side of the world. I forgot that this might be a dangerous thing. We had been back for a few days. We fell into this really comfortable place that became our exclusive bubble. We would make breakfast together and I would take her to all the parts of my world that were important. We couldn't do anything without laughter.

It was starting to get later in the afternoon and we hadn't been to the beach yet. I told Scarlett to jump in the car and we'll go then figure out what we would do for dinner. The sun was setting and being that it was December made it a bit chillier. Scarlett ran up toward the water running and leaping over the water coming to shore and the bit of sea weed that was already there. I was not as close standing there watching her. I was happy seeing how she was happy. After a while Scarlett ran back up to me. The sun was dipping into the sea and we could see all the stars in the night's sky. I wrapped my arms around her and rested my head on her back. It was soothing to have her that close to me. I finally asked her if she was ready to get dinner.

We didn't have to drive because there were so many places along the strip. Outback Steak House it was. Half way through the meal I told her that I wanted her to save room so we could eat ice cream. We talked about what it was like to be able to enjoy time together out of the hospital where we met. This was us being grown-ups in the real world. The fact that I'm a few years older doesn't ever make a big deal because Scarlett brings out a youth in myself that I lost long ago. We walked to the ice cream shop and took our treat to the park next door and sat on the swings. We ate as we planned out our lives like it would be that simple.

We had been getting closer as the days went on. It was later and we were both exhausted. The house was dark and I was starting to fall asleep when I heard Scarlett come to my room. She had been sleeping on the couch but it was kind of cool and not as comforting. I pulled back my covers and let her get in next to me. I fell asleep right away and in the morning forgot that she was sleeping next to me. I opened my eyes and she was so beautiful sleeping curled up next to me. As days pasted it was just habit that she would come sleep in my bed and we would talk and laugh before drifting off to sleep. One night a week after this was our new normal I was almost dreaming when I felt lips kissing me. I kept my eyes closed and kissed her back. I smiled after the first few kissed. This is something I wished would happen but never something I expected. I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arm around her waist. I had never slept more comfortable in my own skin in my whole life.