Agent (CENTURIES series: Book #3)

25

I was tipsy and it was no secret. I had also cried which was no secret either, even if I wanted it to be.

The gin I had found and then chugged down like soda was my current anesthetic to what I was about to do. My heart was hurting and my body was throbbing, and my entire system was shaking and on edge, but my head knew what it wanted to do. Knew what it wanted to try.

And it was the worst goddamn idea, but I was scared that I wouldn't be able to pull through it any other way. Not unless I payed hundreds for therapy, which I really didn't have the money for now that Trump was President. Plus, this was faster.

Toeing into the bedroom, I found Vince sleeping soundly in his kingsize bed. At least one of us had no trouble resting.

"Be brave," I whispered to myself, before taking a deep breath and then carefully crawled into the bed with him. This could either end catastrophic or be the best thing that ever happened to me. Maybe to the both of us. But it was going to be hard. I was going to have to break through a fear so deeply incorporated into my body, it was going to take every ounce of my willpower to make it through without breaking down or running away.

So that's why, before I lost my nerve and the buzz from the alcohol that was already fading away, I swung my leg over Vince and sat astride his hips. Almost instantaneously, he awoke with a jolt, reflex making him reach for the gun under his pillow. I stopped him quickly by pinning his hands down. When his eyes focused on me, he frowned and instantly turned cold.

"What the fuck, Ry—"

I shut him up with my mouth. I pressed my lips against his and kissed him as well as I could while keeping his arms locked down – but of course that only lasted two seconds before Vince used his strength against mine and turned his head away.

"What the fuck, Rya?" He growled again and grabbed my wrists tightly. "Enough. You're drunk. You can't just come to me whenever you fucking—"

"Please," I pleaded with a dry throat. "Please, Vince, I, just... please, just give me one minute. A half. Just... I have to... I need to... try something. P-please. I'll go afterwards, just l-let me try something."

I don't know if it was the way my voice broke or if it was the stupid tears in my eyes that made him inexplicably loosen his grip on my wrists and let them go. There was a look in his eyes that changed when he saw the one in mine. He could tell something was up and that I wasn't just drunkenly throwing myself at him here. I was was a purpose with this and I needed his help.

So before I lost my cool, I swallowed the lump in my throat and brought my hands down to his chest and felt his heartbeat as I ran my hands over his tan skin. It beat stealthily, if not a little harder than normal.

It was now or never.

Slowly, I leaned down to his lips again, and this time he didn't turn his head. He let me softly press my lips against his, let me kiss him. He kissed me back slowly and allowed me to set the pace. He followed my rhythm and only lifted his head slightly to kiss me better as I parted my lips and let my tongue mingle with his. I felt him swipe his across my bottom lip, coating the seams of my mouth and then stroked my own tongue. A violent shudder ran through my body and made me panic. It zinged through me and made the hairs on my back stand up and had my shoulders tensioning.

I tried to remind myself to keep breathing. Told myself to power through it. But when Vince's hands tentatively smoothed over my thighs and softly ran up to my waist, all my alarms rang. My heart pounded in my chest and panic shot up my spine. Coldsweat broke out on my forehead and I realized I couldn't breathe, just as Vince's hands came to my torso, smoothed gently over my bare skin.