Dear Unaag,
Iceland actually got its name from a dead Viking guy who didn't want people coming here. I guess you could say he was an asshole, too. But anyways, his name was Flóki Vilgerðarson, and he wasn't totally blown away by Iceland, because back in Viking times, Iceland wasn't filled with sexy and smart people that give you brainboners like it is today. It probably had more sheep. It still has lots of sheep, though.
So Flóki went back to Norway and said all this shit about Iceland, which got its name after some fjords he saw in the distance. That drove everyone away, so by the time Flóki actually changed his mind about Iceland and decided to come back, everyone else was already like, "Ice land? Fuck that shit." So the Vikings came and had all of this land all to themselves and decided to keep the name Iceland so people wouldn't come and hog all the sheep.
But then again, I just did a quick five-minute Wikipedia search and tried to remember what my old teachers taught me, so all that shit could be wrong.
I can't make any promises about the name, though. I'm not a white male US senator. My actions have consequences. If I brought that up at a U.N. meeting, they'd look at me and go, "Ingrid, we're here discussing the homeless situation in Iceland and how to strengthen trade and your whining about the names of the damn countries?"
P.S. I found a zit on my breast yesterday. Are you calling me a whore?
Asshole.
And P.P.S., I just want you to know that I can't read English for shit, so I asked my sister if she could read it. She showed the letter to her boyfriend, and they tried to translate it. They couldn't agree on a translation, though--I think the word 'sheep' really messed them up--so then they started fighting, and she threw some plates at him, so now he's on a plane going to Shanghai. That's in China.
So thanks for fucking up the family.
