remembering sunday

i. explicit

[credit to _kaptain for the cover]

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TWO YEARS LATER

One week ago

My life changed. I was passed out most Sundays from either a fatal head injury, or a small blow to my mind, but that was over. I laughed to myself. The thought of me being once scared of him shook me. I hadn't seen him for seven years. 

I was finally out of the state that had continued to haunt me for years; I was finally moving on. We were going to a better place.

We were supposed to leave that place 2 years ago, Waylon and I were meant to travel, just the two of us, despite only being 14 and 15, but things happened. I wanted to change everything that happened since that night. 

The last 2 years may have been the worst years of my life, even worse than when everything that happened prior.

"River, you okay?" Waylon whispered to me, his eyes slightly concerned. I was lost in my thoughts, yet again.

"Yeah, I'm fine.." I croaked, trying not to spill out my current emotions. I smiled, trying to hide them. I didn't want to worry him; that was the last thing I wanted.

He smiled at me - a relieved but sad smile - then went back to his laptop screen. Waylon's in love with literature - he's a writer. Not an official one, but he was in my eyes. He wrote about everything: the worst scenarios were written in the most beautiful way.

I hadn't realized I was holding my breath the whole time.

I let it out slowly, looking out of the train window at the urban landscape, now merged into one big picture from the speed of the train. The sky was blue - a pure, peaceful colour,  but I could see grey clouds in the distance. Pathetic fallacy. As I stared up at the sky, I thought of the people living up there, none of them having problems of any sort. They were free, something I aspired to be.

Despite moving as far away as possible from everything, none of it once left my mind.

I sighed. Waylon knew what I was thinking, he always did. He told me not to ever think about them - or the things they did - but I couldn't stop. I couldn't just 'forget' my past, my entire life and act like it never happened, could I? If it didn't happen I wouldn't be where I am now.

I sat back and wondered what my life would be like alternatively, all those wasted years. I would be the luckiest kid alive.

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We were on the train, travelling away from Idaho. It was actually happening, but the further we travelled the faster my heart beat as all the memories came back to me once again. This time, I hoped that it was the last.

2 years. Exactly. That was the day of the night we fled.

The night that was full of mistakes that would never come undone. 

I glanced over at uncle Joel, who was sitting beside me. He was reading a newspaper article: "Bloodiest massacre in West Idaho since 2011". I shivered. He saw me staring and looked up from the thin pages and gave me a comforting smile.

Joel was my father's younger brother, and luckily possessed the same attributes my father did. I missed my father and Joel was always reminding me of him and somehow I could never accept that my father was really dead.

The day we reunited with him was the best day of my life. He saved us.

He promised he'd always there for me and my brother, no matter how occupied he was with his own daughter, Mindy. Without him, I don't know where Waylon and I would have ended up.