The In Between

1: Body Bag

If I could set the clocks back, I wouldn't be headed for a body bag

One life and one decision, makes sure it ends with you still living

Feel like I'm on the fast track to laying face-down from a heart attack

One life and one decision, make sure it ends with you still living.

Make sure it ends with you still living.

My body ached everywhere. The fight was over, courtesy of Principal Evans. "Riley, I'm beginning to think you have a problem."

Maybe one day he'll get a clue. To me, the problem was that I was sitting here in the office while the other 4 went free. I replied, "Ah, yes, which one, though? Let me list it off: my attitude, my perfect grades, the fact that I'm still here?"

He shakes his head as he sits down. "The fights," he says, and I'd think he'd just had a long day, you know, if he wasn't always like this. "The fights are the problem."

"Oh, those," I say. I knew what he meant, of course, but if he won't listen, why should I? "Well, see, the thing is..."

"No. No. I don't want an excuse. Last week, you said that it wouldn't happen again."

"And it didn't. I got a few punches in this time."

He ignores that. "I don't tolerate bullying in my school." I roll my eyes. "I told you last week, if you kept this up, I was going to have to send you to the counselor. Bullies are not tolerated."

"Okay, but..." What if I'm not the bully?

"No buts."

"Can I please be allowed to speak?"

"You can, after a week of after-school counseling."

I throw my hands up and sit back. There's no point to this, no one's going to listen, anyways. "Fine, fine, fine. When do I start?"

"Today, after school," he says. "Now, you should get back to P.E. Have a lovely day."

Half of me wants to skip the rest of the period just so I don't have to see the looks on their faces, but I don't want to be in more trouble than I'm already in. I walk back to the gym, back into the middle of everything. The game was basketball.

"Oh, hello, Riley," Ms. Pines says, as I walk in. "Principal Evans let me know you'd be participating in counseling this week."

Unfortunately. "Yes, I am."

"He told me why, too. Do you know why you're here?"

I'm trying so hard to be respectful and not roll my eyes. "Because of the fights I've been in?"

With a big, bright, and probably fake smile plastered on her face, she says, "Thaaaaat's right! Now, I'm sure you know that it's not good to hit people, right? We're supposed to use our words, not our fists."

"Ma'am, I'm 14, not 4. Can you please not talk to me as if I'm a preschooler?" Trying. So. Hard.

"Come, come. Let us do the counseling."

This lady's idea of counseling was not what I'd expected at all. Definitely not for high school students. Literally, she made me sit there and draw pictures and work on hypothetical situations.

"Alright, Riley, if a classmate takes something that belongs to you, what should you do?"

"Go up to them and ask them for it back?"

"That's right! And if they don't, then what should you do?"

I was somewhere between erupting and sleeping, a place called numb. "Tell the teacher or nearest faculty member."

"That's right!" She has me take a jolly rancher from the jar as a reward. I have 6 in my pocket already.

In this small, colorful office, I felt like I was in elementary school, rather than in high school. I'm four years away from the age of majority and I'm sitting here with Kindergarten Teacher Barbie. I'm literally waiting for her to break out the alphabet-puzzles. "Now, say you handled the situation by punching the classmate. How would they feel?"

I sigh. "They'd feel as though their personal space had been violated and would likely be in pain."

"Correct. And how would you feel?"

I'd feel like maybe they shouldn't be stealing from me to begin with. "I'd feel like I'd achieved nothing. I haven't regained the missing item and I've put myself at risk for retaliation. However, I'd feel less frustrated," I droned. How does one achieve her level of perkiness when doing something so boring?

"Alright. We've made progress. You still show signs of an... anger issue... but! We have established that you know how you should handle conflict." She hands me the jar again, and I take another stupid candy. "Now, I think that's our half-hour. Thanks for cooperating, have pleasant afternoon, and I'll see you tomorrow."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't run once I was out of there.