The Truth about Sebastian Smythe

You can see it in my veins its a real dark place

The weeks drag on, sectionals is almost here the warblers going up against new directions, Blaine and Wes are on my case again, hunter seems like the only really focused on wining at sectionals.

I enter my dorm, Blaine comes in to check up on me I presume, he tries to play it cool act like nothing has happened but it's hard on him hard on all of them and I don't understand it I mean we're acquainted so how can they put so much emotion into this? Nonetheless my thoughts stay in my head, he mentions something about food asking what I want. I don't respond I got lost in my thoughts again, as I watched him ramble on to other stuff you could just see how he almost lit up? Like there was jus this deep joy that he had, it seemed like a lot of people my age had it like they had no worries like they were just who they were and that was it, all had the same complaints about school and well yeah they were just so almost too carefree ? It's like they had a love for life in all things that they did but not like the daisy and roses kind ?

"Sebastian?"

I gave him a questioning look like I haven't spoken in weeks why would I now?
The bell rings again, I pack up my stuff and notice that I have a free period, Blaine mentions something about biology
The halls of Dalton are busy and then suddenly dead quiet, you can hear your own foot steps echo.

I ended up in the piano room, I can't speak but no one said I couldn't sing.

I couldn't help myself
I wanted to heal but at the same time forget and move on. I also knew that sooner or later I would have to soldier on putting on that brave face the way everyone knows, I need help to shut them all out but just before I do, I sang the words I could never express to anyone

Christina Perri Human
I could stay away for days if that's what you want. I can do it I can do it I'll get through it but I'm only human and I bleed when I fall down I'm only human and I crash and I breakdown words in my head knifes in my heart, you build me up and then I fall apart cause I'm only human. I'm only human, I'm only human, just a little Hummmaaaannn. I can take so much, till I've had enough cause I'm only human and I bleed when I fall down and I crash and I breakdown your words in my head, knives in my heart you build me up and then I fall apart cause I'm only human.

I felt this nervous energy as I was playing the lyrics felt like it was physically tearing me apart saying all the things I knew I never could. Not to my so called inner circle, those who know about me but don't know me wandering in the hallways of Dalton Acadamy not to anyone after all I'm just the cocky Sebastian Smythe.

It was then that I regretted opening my mouth at all silence is golden

Blaines Point of View
I made my way down the halls of Dalton and found Wes headed to Science directly opposite my next class. I gave him a brief update, funny enough he wasn't shocked or surprised at all he was calm and like monotone.

Earlier in the week I found Sebastian's journal? I wasn't snooping I swear I just couldn't help it he wasn't opening up when all we wanted to do was be there for him but we didn't even know how to do that for him, so I guess I was looking for something to help.

Sebastian writes poetry? What seems like songs and just verses he puts together

** Robbie Williams real love**
Come one hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
My head speaks a language
I don't understand. I sit and talk to him, but he just laughs at my plans.
I just wanna feel real love
Fill the home that I live in.
You can see it in my face
It's a real dark place and I need to feel Real love in a happy ever after.
I don't wanna die
But I'm not keen on living either.

"Blaine, Firstly no matter how you try and justify it , it's still invasion of privacy"

"But Wes he needs help and how else do we help him if we don't know how he's truly dealing"
" I know it's tricky but we just have to respect what he wants, if he wants to face this battle alone there isn't much we can do to change that but be there for him when he needs us wethere he falls back on us for support or not. Also I don't think Sebastian meant love as in relationships, call me a bad judge of character but maybe he was referring to less simple things that everyone else around him has which all seem to have taken for granted, like how we just freely have this love for life and friends etc.

"I don't understand, you gonna have to help me out".

"The best way I could put it down to is the fact that he has no one, his dad clearly has no affection for him, he has no other apparent family and he's used his hurt to cover up, feeling anything than what he usually does like trying to escape emotionally inside himself. Maybe we've never noticed or paid attention to it maybe it's just generally quite difficult for him to see things the way we do even the simplest of things, like for instance we know that come summer break we can go home and do whatever we want he on the other hand goes back to a completely different reality".

" that explains everything".

"Everything? Blaine what do you know?"

"I have to go"

"Blaine your biology class!"