Ohana

Chapter Four

Do dead people have memories? I don't think so, at least not the bad ones anyways. That's why I want to die; so I don't have to remember anymore.

When Liam woke up to the screaming his first thought was that someone was being killed, no,tortured, it was that horrible sounding. He was already jumping up and running to Niall's room with Zayn on heels, before he was even fully aware of what exactly was happening. They burst through the door and found Niall tangled in his sheets, covered in sweat and screaming bloody murder. His small hands were clenching the bottom sheet so tightly as he thrashed that it had slipped off of all of the corners and was now tangled around the boy with top sheet, while the duvet had been kicked to the ground with the pillows and bear.
Liam hurried over and tried to get Niall out of his sheets but as soon as he touched the child he just screamed louder and thrashed harder, to the point that he toppled off the bed front first with a loud thud. Zayn immediately pulled Liam back when he saw what was happening, holding him so that he wouldn't touch Niall, clearly that seemed to only make things much worse.
Liam was struggling against his husband, all of his instincts telling him that he needed to hold Niall and make everything better. They both froze though when Niall suddenly seemed to wake himself up, his eyes finding Liam and Zayn before scrambling into the corner and curling up into a ball.
'Niall, hey, shh it's okay.' Liam said, carefully pulling away from Zayn and walking over to crouch in front the terrified child. Niall made a low keening sound and pressed himself farther back into the corner, his eyes darting between Liam and Zayn fearfully.
'You're okay babe, it was just a dream.' Zayn told him, carefully approaching to kneel beside Liam. 'It's okay, we're here now.'
Zayn noticed the sharp sent of urine again and looking at Niall's curled up and sobbing form he could see that his pyjamas were drenched in both urine and sweat, and, oddly enough, the neck had been ripped. Somehow, between the two of them, they managed to coax Niall out and into Zayn's lap so Liam could check him over for injuries.
'That's it, shh, you're fine now, I got you, it's okay.' Zayn murmured, holding Niall and rocking him gently. Niall was still sobbing hysterically, unable to even get a proper breath in, and making a loud keening noise every minute or so, making both men wince. Liam tried to check him over for injuries but when Niall couldn't calm down at all he just let Zayn turn the boy around, so they were chest to chest, and rub his back and try to get him to take a proper breath in. Just as Liam thought they might be getting somewhere Niall made a choking noise before throwing up, getting it all over himself and the front of Zayn's shirt.
'Oh god, you poor thing.' Zayn said, managing to hold Niall steady until Liam took him, not even caring about the vomit as he held the child against him and tried to get him to calm down. Niall was now panicking even harder, anticipating being in deep, deep trouble for puking on both him and Zayn.
Zayn quickly just pulled off his shirt and bundled it up with Niall's wet sheets before jogging out to where Liam was just about to enter the loo with Niall in his arms. As soon as Niall saw the bathroom though he screeched and threw his head back, catching Liam in the jaw, before starting to thrash wildly and trying to get away. Zayn quickly took Niall from Liam as blood started to run down his face and he stood there in shock for a moment. Zayn strode into their bedroom with Niall still struggling in his arms. He turned on the lights and shut the toilet door, narrowly avoiding being kneed in the groin when Niall saw into the room. He just started to talk to the child and gently pace the room as Liam came in, fear and worry written clearly across his face to mirror Zayn's own.
'Shh, shh. Breathe, breathe Nialler. I promise you're safe baby. Nothing will hurt you I've got you, it's okay. Hush darling.' Zayn chanted, keeping his voice low and soothing as he rubbed Niall's back and gently went from one end of the room to the other. Liam changed his shirt, which was covered in puke now too, and mopped up his face as best he could with a random towel that had been laying around. He watched as Zayn, still shirtless, tried to calm Niall down.
Finally he seemed to cry himself out and he just lay bonelessly against Zayn's bare chest, his own little chest heaving loudly as he tried to take in enough air so he didn't pass out.
'That's it.' Zayn encouraged quietly, rubbing Niall's back. 'Just calm down, it's all okay.' Finally, the sobs just turned into quiet tears and his tight grip on Zayn lessened slightly. The man sat down on his bed with Niall in his lap, holding him close as his own panic started to calm. He felt Liam sit down beside him and rub his back, blood caked around his mouth from a split lip.
'Let's get you two cleaned up.' Liam said, realizing now that Niall had wet pyjamas and a puke covered face and torso.
'Out here. Not in the loo.' Zayn said quickly. As soon as Liam had said 'clean up' Niall had made that keening noise again and latched back onto Zayn while his breaths increased back into panic mode. Zayn gave Liam a confused and slightly scared look as he began to rub Niall's back again as he murmured to him softly. Liam just shrugged helplessly and went to get a cloth from the kitchen.
When he came back he found that Zayn was kneeling beside Niall on the floor and trying to help him out of his soiled clothes while Niall tried to hang onto Zayn's shoulders as long as he could. Liam carefully approached and helped Zayn undress Niall before he wiped the puke off of both of them.
'Thanks Li.' Zayn said, grateful to be clean again. Normally he was a bit squeamish but when it came to Niall he hadn't even thought twice about it.
'No problem, will you grab the lotion after you change?' He asked, seeing that Niall's pants had managed to get Zayn's wet as well. Zayn nodded and tried to extract himself from Niall's grip to get up, but that proved difficult when the terrified child would notlet up until Liam gently transferred the hold to himself so that Niall still had someone to hang onto.
When Niall saw the split lip he let out a strangled little gasp and reached out to touch it gently, looking sad and guilty.
'It's okay.' Liam promised, giving him a smile. 'It was an accident, its okay.' Niall frowned and pulled his hand back; kissing his fingers before pressing them back against Liam's cut, trying to convey to his foster dad that he was sorry.
'Thank you sweetheart.' Liam managed, his voice catching in his throat. He finished wiping Niall down and tried not to cry. After he was as clean as they could manage without a bath they let him put more lotion on to help calm down and Zayn found the bear again, handing it over for Niall to cuddle while he dealt with the wreck of a bedroom.
'He's just going to clean up.' Liam murmured when Niall's head snapped around to see where Zayn was going. 'He'll be back in a minute.' Being careful of the infected welt and aggravated rash he picked Niall up and carried him into the kitchen, starting the kettle for three cups of tea. Looking at the clock he saw that it was almost five in the morning, yet after that ordeal none of them were even the slightest bit tired.
'Wonderful.' Zayn said, coming into the kitchen to be handed a mug of warm tea. They took a seat on the couch, Niall still shaking and crying softly as he sat on Liam's lap and tried to hold his tea.
'Oh love.' Liam said sympathetically, holding Niall's tea for him when a fresh bout of tears hit and he buried his face in the man's shoulder. Zayn put Niall's and Liam's tea down on the side table while Liam rocked Niall and tried to comfort him as best he could. Carefully standing up Zayn went to the stereo and found some classical music, putting the record in he went back to the couch as 'Claire de Lune' started to filter through the speakers.
Niall sniffled and looked up curiously, turning his head toward the music and trying to be quiet so that he could hear properly. Liam kissed his sweaty hair and rubbed his back still as he felt the boys' breathing come down to a normal level and the tears slow down. Zayn handed Niall the tea again and this time the blonde was able to sip it carefully with Liam's help, his hands only shaking slightly now as opposed to violently like they had been.
'Feeling any better babe?' Zayn asked softly at the end of the second piece. Niall looked at him with sad eyes and gave a small nod, clearly feeling guilty that he'd woken them both up in the middle of the night.
'You want to talk about it? Or write about it or something?' Liam asked carefully. As soon as he said that Niall looked at him with wide eyes and his hand started to pull at the collar of his shirt as he remembered the nightmare, suddenly Liam could see how the collar of his other shirt had gotten ripped during the night.
'Maybe just staying here for now is the best plan...' Zayn mused softly, reaching over to brush Niall's bangs back off his face. Niall nodded and laid his cheek back down on Liam's shoulder, feeling more protected with both of his foster dads there.
xXx
They stayed cuddled up like that until the sun rose, then Zayn got up to make them a quick breakfast and more tea while Liam stayed with Niall on the couch. Stretching out on the couch, with Niall laying on his chest, he gently took his thumb and wiped any remaining tears away before combing his fingers through the blonde hair to help it stay back off of the child's face.
'Why don't we have a lazy day in today, huh?' Liam asked softly. 'We can cuddle and watch movies, does that sound good?' Niall, who was now sucking his thumb and holding Teddy, nodded slowly and laid his ear over Liam's chest to listen to his heartbeat.
Liam rubbed Niall's back and let him be until Zayn came back in with a bowl of porridge for Niall and toast for the two of them. Niall was gently transferred to Zayn's lap and given the bowl while Liam sat up to stretch his back out. Niall looked down at his breakfast and poked at it with his spoon, not looking interested at all. Zayn scooped a little bit and poked Niall's lips with it, trying to get him to open his mouth.
'Just a little?' The foster dad asked. Niall parted his lips a little and carefully took the oatmeal, only because it was Zayn that had asked- he liked Zayn. As he swallowed the food he found that he actually was hungry after all. Letting Zayn hold the bowl he carefully took the spoon and fed himself a bit more, looking curiously at the relieved looks on both Liam and Zayn's faces. Why would they look happy if he was eating their food?
'Good job.' Zayn said, sighing in relief. Niall needed proper nutrition to start putting weight back on and even skipping one meal would set them back. Niall finished the bowl and then curled up into Zayn's chest, listening to the pretty music that was still swirling around the room. Zayn cuddled him, rubbing his back and brushing away the occasional tears that rolled down his cheeks. They spent the rest of the morning like that, Niall in Zayn's lap and Zayn and Liam leaning against each other tiredly.
xXx
By eleven o'clock Niall's face had taken on this uncomfortable grimace and he was shifting occasionally in Zayn's lap, one hand tugging on the thigh of his pants while the other was in his mouth as he sucked his thumb anxiously.
'Hey, there's no need to be scared sweetheart.' Liam murmured, thinking that Niall was still upset over the dream he'd had earlier.
In reality Niall just really, really had to pee. He hadn't emptied his bladder since his accident during the night and now his stomach was absolutely aching and he felt like he'd lose it any second now. Letting out a little gasp Niall tipped down and clutched his groin with his free hand, knowing now that his foster dads would be able to see clearly what was wrong. Liam shared a look with Zayn but quickly hurried to the bathroom with Niall in his arms.
'Let's get you to the loo.' Liam said hurriedly, opening the door only to have Niall let out a little scream and hide his face in Liam's shoulder. Liam froze as Niall started to hyperventilate and cling to him like a monkey, obviously still terrified of the toilet. As soon as Liam tried to get him into the loo Niall saw white.
He could feel the scalding water burning his skin, his clothes heavy and clinging to his body as his head was shoved into the burning liquid too. He thrashed and kicked and tried to get out but the big hands moved to his neck and held him under with no effort at all. He opened his eyes and tried to scream but all that succeeded in was getting the blood from his mouth into the hot water and clouding his vision. He tried to scream for his mom, for anybody, for somebody to come and help him but the man kept his head down until his head started to ache and his vision went black.
'Niall?' Liam asked his eyes wide and slightly panicked, just the tone of his voice causing Zayn to rush in to see what the matter was. Niall's eyes were tightly shut as he clutched the back of Liam's shirt and pulled at it, his body twisting and trying to pull away from whatever he was remembering. Zayn could see how his legs were tensed around Liam's waist and just by glancing down he could see that Niall's calf muscles were cramping, hard. Liam could feel that Niall's bladder had started to release, the urine running down his stomach and legs from Niall's crotch.
'He'll snap out of it in a moment.' Zayn said, recognizing a flashback as he saw one. 'Hold him tightly though because he'll be scared.'
Liam nodded, slightly panicked, as Niall suddenly went limp and started to cry against his shoulder.
'Shh, shh Nialler.' Liam cooed, rubbing his back and walking into the master bedroom. 'You're okay. It's fine, it's fine love.'
Niall trembled in Liam's arms, trying to forget the memory that had just popped into his head by focusing on the man's nice voice. He was always too scared to go into the loo after a night terror like that; well it wasn't as much a night terror as it was a resurfacing of memories. He buried his face in Liam's neck trying not to cry as he realized that he'd wet his trousers again and he'd managed to wet Liam as well, god he was so pathetic!
Liam held onto the trembling child until he had to put him down to clean both of them up, then Zayn took over while Liam went to go clean up. Niall looked at Zayn with teary eyes, looking like a kicked puppy that was sad because his owner was upset.
'Don't be sad babe.' Zayn said, kissing the child on the forehead. 'It's all okay, I promise. It's all okay now.'
Niall wanted to believe him so bad but it just hurt so much when he got his hopes up and then they fell again that he wasn't sure if it was worth it or not. He just nodded and stood still as Zayn cleaned up his legs and helped him into new, clean, pyjamas. When Zayn lifted him up into his arms he laid his head on his broad shoulder and thought about how nice it would be if Zayn and Liam were his real family.