It's a Secret

Chapter One

Collin's POV


The next day, Vince wasn't at school. I spent most of my time looking for him, and then heard some loser in the hallway talking about "how great Spanish class was without him."

After fourth period, I joined up with Nick, and we walked around the school, intending to ditch class. "So, did you have a hangover this morning?" Nick asked me.

I laughed and shook my head. "Not a bad one. However my eyes were a bulging red," I said, getting a laugh out of him.

"Well the eye drops did you nicely," he said, as we walked down stairs and onto the lower blacktop of the school.

I nodded, kicking a rock with my foot. Nick was handsome, not like Vince, but still very handsome. He was bi, so it wasn't completely uncomfortable to be around him. But he was my friend and I would never, ever ruin that by hooking up with him.

"Hey, um, Collin...can I ask you something?"

I slowed my walking pace down and turned to face Nick.

"Do you maybe...like...Vince?" He asked. I quickly swallowed, not knowing how to respond.

"How did you kn--"

"I'm not even sure. I just see the way you look at him sometimes and it just feels like you like him," Nick said, staring at his shoes. I turned to face the opposite direction as we continued to walk.

"Yeah, I guess. Don't tell anyone, okay? It's not a big deal," I mumbled.

"But isn't Vince...straight? He also seems a little homophobic, Collin." Nick said, urging into a soft tone.

"I know, I know, it's dumb. At this point I don't really give a fuck. He's hot," I stated. We were now off of school ground, and I turned around just to be sure that no teacher was watching us.

"So what did you guys talk about in the closet?" Nick asked.

I thought about what I was going to tell him, and whether or not I should tell him the truth or not. After all, he was my best friend.

"We didn't do much talking," I said, hiding a smile.

Nick stopped in his tracks and looked at me with a confused expression. "No. You're fucking with me," Nick said. I laughed.

"Nothing happened, alright Nick?" I said, calming my laughter. Nick nodded sarcastically.

"Sure. Now what, Vince is gay?"

"No, no. He's not. Nothing happened," I pleaded. I needed to be loyal to Vince. Plus I knew he would beat me up if the word got out.

"What do you two boys think you're doing?" Came a stern voice from behind us. We immediately turned around to find our principal staring us in the eyes.

I debated whether to run or confess, but I was tired. "I threw a football over the fence in PE and I'm here to get it," Nick said, before I could admit that we were ditching. I nodded and the principal shook his head.

"Do you have a note from your PE teacher?" He asked. We shook our heads and the principal frowned. "Get over here, now," he snapped, and motioned for us to follow him as he walked back up the hill.

We walked back in silence. All I could think about was how Vince pressed his lips onto mine last night, and shoved me into the clothing rack. I had never felt so alive before that.

"You two are going to get detention after school today," the principal said as we entered the hallway. We turned into the office as he went behind his desk. He wrote two notes and handed them to us. "Now get to class," he spat.

We both turned around, and started for the office door. Suddenly, Vince walked through the hallway door. He had a black eye and a puffy lip. He looked at me, into my eyes, and then looked away. I immediately stopped, panic rushing through my mind. Through the office doors, I could here Vince saying, "Sorry I'm late."

I turned to Nick, my breathing speeding up. "Why the fuck did he have a black eye?" I asked him, pleading for information that I knew he didn't have.

"I have no idea," Nick said, opening the hallway door for me as we turned to walk in the direction of our classroom. "But remember what he told us that day about his dad? Maybe he did something..." Nick said, his voice trailing off.

Now even more thoughts ran through my head. I needed to know what happened to Vince. I cared about him.

We continued to walk in silence, and I saw my classroom door just a few feet away. My body then stopped. "Look, Nick. I can't go to class. I need to go find out what's wrong with him. Meet me after school by the office," I said, turning around and breaking into a run.

Nick smirked and continued on his way as I entered the hallway doors. I saw Vince at the other side of it, and I sprinted past doorways and finally caught up to him. "Vince!" I exclaimed in a whisper, causing him to turn around. He looked at me, rolled his eyes, and turned away. "Vince cut it out. What the fuck happened to you?" I asked. Still no response. "Vince!" I nearly broke whisper.

"Nothing fucking happened okay? And it's not like you care anyways, you faggot. Why don't you get your ass away from me and leave me alone because you don't know what the fuck I'm going through," Vince snapped. I took a step back, my expression sinking and my face turning red.

I slowed down, letting the space between Vince and I grow larger. I wanted to run after him and tell him how much I liked him, and how for two years I've watched him, studied him, and got to know him. But he still doesn't think I, nor anybody else, cares.

Anger rifled up inside of me. I was always the person getting hurt, in everything I did. "Well fuck you, Vince. It's not like what you know what I'm going through either," I managed, but he was already too far.

Or at least that's what I wanted to believe. Maybe he just didn't care.

And I wanted him to care. I wanted to know why he was going through shit, and I wanted to tell him that I liked him, and that I go through shit too. I wanted him so badly, but he was straight and not interested. Probably one of the biggest disappointments ever.

But I was still curious why he had kissed me last night. My best bet is that he just wanted to try it out, and then he realized he hated it. Part of me still thought that he was just closeted, though I was losing hope.

Why was all of this so hard?