No Escape

The Girl

The girl swung her hair over her shoulder and walked on. Me, however, kept staring at her walking by. I walked behind her, well, ok it was more of a speed walk to catch up to her. Eventually I said
"Hey! You!" And ran up to her.
"What's your name?" I ask trying to be casual.
"That is classified information." She was too smooth for me.
"Seriously?" I Looked at her like a fool and I could tell.
"No. I just don't know who you are. How do I know if you even go to the same school as me?"
"Well ok, what school do you go to?" It was a stupid question but she needed the information.
"I go to Ponderosa. You?"
"Me too!" I glanced at her and smiled. Then she broke out in a laugh.
"What?"
"How do I know you go to Ponderosa?"
"Trust me, I do."
"Ok, what is the mascot?"
"I don't know maybe a pine tree. No I am just kidding. It's a mustang. Trust me now?"
"Yes." I looked away and thought about what my first task was. Her name. I needed her name.
"So, what's your name?"
"Britnee. Spelled with two e's."
"Ok, Britnee." We walked across a long field leading to Ponderosa high school. We talked for hours about our life events.

When we arrived at the school I opened the door for Britnee and went to class without a thought about walking her to her class. I should have, the more I thought about it. I just didn't have the guts to walk her to her first class.
As I walked into my first class, my friend Jackson smiled at me.
"Hey dude! What's new?" I said.
"Nothing much. You?" I looked down at the blue carpeted floor.
"I am trying to get over my dad still."
"But he abused you!" People looked at me from around the room and it fell into silence. It was a good thing the teacher was not there.
"Sorry." Jackson exchanged looks with the door and me and then the door again.
"It's ok, I am just having a hard time."
"I understand but your dad was a bad person and you must be glad he isn't beating you right now." The door swung open and Mr. Bradford walked into the room. Mr. Bradford was my English teacher. He is nice but he can ramble a little too much.
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After school I got into my moms car. Britnee looked at me and I returned a smile. She seemed mad. Like my mom gets mad when my dad hits her. Then I thought about the time when my dad locked me in my room and told me I can't come out until I let him cut me over and over on my arms, legs, and face. He then took a fork and stabbed my cheek. I had to stay home the next day.
As we walked into the DMV, the attendant I saw my dad sitting in the chair. I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. The man is now fat and had a tan hat with a dark brown brim. I looked at eyes outlining with fat. I can't wait to get out of here I thought. The man looked at us with wrings of fat hanging from his neck.
"Go ahead and take a number. You will be called shortly." My Mom glared at him and nodded her head.
"Mom, you can leave. It will only take an hour."
"Are you sure?"
"Mom I am 17! I am almost an adult." My Mom rolled her eyes and said,
"Ok! Fine, fine." She walked out the door and looked around in caution. The monitor at the front read 32. I looked down at my ticket that read 34. I am hoping I just have to do a written test. An attendant to my left called for number 33. At this point my heart was in my throat. I was so nervous I about soiled myself. A woman to my right called for 34. I stood up and walked up to the woman. She was rather ugly.
"Hi. How are you doing this afternoon?" She spoke so precise that I was afraid to talk.
"Fine thanks." We walked down a long narrow hallway and entered a room that had sports car posters and an old milk carton on the floor. It was boring and old. The woman exited the room as I took a seat at the back of the room. An elderly man stood up from his desk.
"Are you taking the test? For your license?"
"Yes sir." I looked at his black empty eyes and they reminded me of my dad. Like he had no emotion.
"You have one hour to complete this test. Are you ready?"
"Yes sir." I looked at his hands. Scared and bloody like my dads.
"You may start your test."
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I walked out of the doors of the DMV and looked for my moms car. But out of the corner of my eye I saw Britnee. I swung my head in that direction. But I only saw a mid aged mother walking into the yo yogurt next door. Then my mother honked her horn.
"Are you ok?" My Mom looked concerned.
"Not really but that's ok."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No!" I yelled it so loud a couple outside the car looked at me.
"I just remember him way too much."
"Aw, honey..." I cut her off
"Mom I need to get over this by myself." My Mom started the car and drove home. We stayed in silence. While we were in silence I flashed back to the time my dad tried to rape me. He held my hands against the wall and stripped his clothing off. Then started to strip mine. I resisted but my dad was too strong. My dad grabbed an iron and pressed it against my penis. I screamed louder than I knew I could. He held it there for what seemed like hours. Then he removed it and taped my mouth shut. Then removed my clothes and put a needle up my penis. I tried to yell for help but could not. He then grabbed a knife and told me to fight him. He was so drunk he would fall on the floor. I cut his shoulder, ending up on the ground. My dad circumcised me with a butter knife cutting all of the access skin. I tried to scream but my mouth was still taped shut. Bleeding from my nose, penis, arm, and leg. My body ached from the stress built up. My dad slurred some words and threw his body into mine and held me in a choke hold not letting go. I cut just below his eye but by his ear. I stopped the bleeding from all of the areas of my body and looked at myself in the mirror. I told myself I didn't want to be circumcised. I cried so hard that my ear drums hurt. My dad came into the bathroom again and punched me out because I told my mom about what happened. I didn't think he would do that but it was the right thing to do. Then I told myself why do I have this life?
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I walked into the door as my brother came to greet me.
"Did you pass? Did you do it?"
"Unfortunately I did. Now if you excuse me I'm going upstairs to grieve."
I walk into my room in pain. My penis hurt from all the times my dad hit me. Then I took off my pants and the boxers I had under that. My penis now grew almost crooked. Marshall walked into the room.
"Dude! Your penis is crooked! That sucks." I started to cry and Marshall stopped joking.
"Are you ok?" I looked up in disbelief.
"No! I am not ok! People don't even think I am normal at school. I can't even change without someone saying look he has a crooked penis. Or dude do you have micro penis? Marshall I don't know how to do this!" My bare chest started to get cold as I went without a shirt.
"I don't know what to say. I am sorry man. Marshall examined my body and saw all of the knots and scars on my back, legs, arms, and penis.
"I am sorry I walked in on you. I should probably let you get changed and stuff."
"Ok." I set my hands on my head I didn't know what to do.