Lighthouse Lullaby | ✓

A Note About Bullying

Hi,

I'm writing this because I think it's very important to talk about bullying. As someone who has been bullied through most of middle and high school, I know how painful and difficult it can be.

I was bullied for so many reasons: for being 'fat' in middle school, for being 'too skinny' and 'stick-like' in high school (I had developed a major complex about my weight after repeatedly being called 'fat' and 'chubby'), for being well-liked by the teachers and for trying to do well in class ('nerd', 'loser', 'kiss-ass'). . . I could go on.

At the time, I was scared and hurt. I genuinely believed that all those things they said about me were true. I did have a few really good friends who talk to me even today, and they stuck with me and supported me. But I wasn't as confident and happy as I could have been. Bullies do that to you. Whether you consciously choose to take their words seriously or not, the negativity does affect you because you're only human. You stand in front of the mirror every day, wondering why you look the way you do, maybe wishing your waist was a little smaller or your legs were a little longer. We criticise ourselves all the time. It's all part of being human.

But it's very different and entirely unacceptable when someone else makes rude comments about your appearance or personality. Just because you question and judge your own looks or character doesn't mean others can do that to you.

I'm a student at university now, and my biggest regret is that I never told my mother or any of my teachers about what was going on. Like I said, I was scared and I mistakenly thought that telling an adult would not help me. I thought no one would understand. But not very long ago, I finally broke down and told my mother everything. To my surprise, she told me a similar story from her own childhood when she was bullied by two of the 'smarter' kids in her class for her grades. After several days of being verbally and even physically abused, she went home crying to her dad. He took my mom to meet the two kids along with their parents one evening, and they put an end to the bullying together. Now, decades later, my mother is great friends with both of them, and I'm friends with their kids.

What I'm trying to say is this: please don't be scared to speak out. If you're being bullied, speak out about it and seek help because you do not deserve to be treated that way. No matter what you look like or act like, no matter how you dress or who you like, you are you and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Bullying in the form of physical abuse, verbal abuse and cyber bullying are widely discussed topics now, and you can be sure that a trustworthy adult (a parent, a teacher or a counsellor) will understand and will help you. Depending on where you live, there are several helplines for bullying. You can also use helpline chats on websites like STOMP OUT BULLYING™ (http://stompoutbullying.org) to seek help for yourself or for a friend.

We have to treat ourselves and each other with love and respect. To get there, we have to put an end to bullying be it at school, university or the workplace. And we can accomplish that if we promise to help ourselves and one another. I have promised myself that I will never allow anyone to bully me or anyone around me again. For yourself and for the people around you, will you make this promise, too?

Love,

Amethyst