All I Want Is You

Goodbye

Taylor

Joining the evening visitors who were starting to leave, we slipped out of my room with me clad in the horrible gown that know matter what you do flashes your arse to everyone and a dressing gown I assumed was for my use as I found it on the bottom of the bed.

Trying to give off an air of confidence as though I had every right to be doing what I was doing now, we made our way down the hospital corridor, having no idea where Declan was, after I had tried the adjacent ward and found he wasn't there, I didn't know if perhaps he had gone home.

Stopping at the nurses station I asked if they had seen Declan as I wanted to thank him for saving my life.

"Sorry miss haven't had anyone around here with that name"

"Well he's Umm a famous singer"

"Oh" she squealed. " You mean Chase Ryder, why didn't you say so, so you're the girl he rescued?"

I nodded.

"He must have been passing when I crashed" I mumbled.

"Well I'm afraid I have some bad news for you, he's um in a critical condition in the intensive care unit and visitors are not allowed at the moment"

I stood frozen in shock as the nurses words sank in, Declan was in a critical condition, because of me, oh god please tell me it's not true.

"Oh thanks" I muttered to the nurse, leaving my parents in a waiting room with the assurance I would be back soon, I ambled further down the corridor in a daze, fighting back the tears that threatened to break free.

Turning a sharp right I came to a pair of lifts and a sign pointing towards them stating the names of a few ward's and ICU the intensive care unit.

That to me was a sign and I knew I had to see him and see him now, so I marched to the lift and pressed the button for up.

On reaching the second floor I departed the lift and made my way to the nurses station where a lot of monitors stood in a row on the back shelf showing the individual patient's in their rooms, glancing at the monitors I spotted one that had a printed card stating Ryder, Chase Room three.

That was all I needed, waiting for the nurses attention to be distracted from me I move off in the direction of the rooms, walking past rooms one and two, before pausing outside room three, checking around that the coast was clear, before turning the handle.

Creeping into his room as quietly as I could, I notice his prone body surrounded by equipment there were wires and tubes attached all over his chest and a consistent beeping coming from one of the machines where a thin green line on a monitor spiked up in time to the beeping.

"Hi" came the shaky whisper. "I'm glad you are okay Taz"

"Shush, now Declan, you need to rest, as you can see I'm fine thanks to you and your stubbornness" I whispered back.

He chuckled lightly before succumbing to a chesty  coughing fit, as it subsided and his breathing became less laboured, he tried to smile but it was more a painful tortured grimace.

He looked awful, his face was pale and drawn with red blotches, his eyes were sunken in and battling to stay open, his breathing was shallow and came in short sharp bursts.

"Hey Declan, take it easy, when you are better we can talk about these things"

"'I'm not getting better sweetheart, I just stayed around to make sure you were okay" his voice was a low rasping whisper, his breathing laboured and his words broken up by coughing fits.

"Don't you dare talk like that Declan Morris do you hear me, you will get better and we will talk, besides you promised the world that you were going to take care of me for the rest of our lives and you still need to convince me to stop hiding and appear on a chat show with you, remember?"

I said as forcefully as I could whilst holding back my tears by blinking as fast as I could.

"Sorry to disappoint you Taylor Deveroeux, but I think you will need to find another guardian angel, one that loves you half as much as I do"

"So you think your an angel do you, well let me tell you.."

Before I could finish my sentence, Declan's eyes went wide and a look of pain flashed over his face, as his body lifted from the bed and went rigid before crashing back down, to the sound of a loud continuous beep and alarm bells going off everywhere.

As I tried to digest what was happening, all hell broke loose, as two nurses and a doctor rushed into the room pushing me a side.

"Crash team quickly" yelled the doctor and a nurse ran to the side of the room and punched a red button on the wall, that set of another loud bell somewhere outside.

Not thirty seconds later two more men came charging in pushing portable medical equipment.

"Quick" shouted the first man. "Before we lose him"

The medical equipment was wheeled to the side of Declan's bed plugged in and switched on, then I couldn't believe it as the truth finally caught up with me.

This was like watching a soap drama on television, it couldn't be happening in real life, what were those things called paddles that's it.

They used them when someone's heart stopped beating, that meant.

"It's not working, keep up the CPR, give him oxygen, two milligrammes of...."

I stood in a daze not being able to process what was going on, as the doctors shouted back and forth and the nurses ran around handing them syringes that they used on Chase, the paddles were placed repeatedly on his chest, then he would lift off the bed when one of the doctors shouted clear only to plummet back down, but still the green line was flat.

"I'm think I'm going to have to call it soon" the doctor announced looking at his watch.

Before I could think what I was doing I flew to the bed and grabbed Declan's shoulders.

"Come on Declan, stop this you owe me, don't you dare do this to me, do you hear" I screamed thumping him hard on the chest.

The next thing I was dragged off of his body and somebody shouted.

"Who's she! Get her the hell out of here"

Where upon I was unceremoniously pushed and manhandled towards the door.

"Don't you dare die, do you hear me Chase Ryder, don't you die on me goddamn it! not now! Not since I've fallen in love with you" I screamed over my shoulder with tears streaming down my face, as I was firmly shoved out the door and had it slammed shut behind me.

"I'm going to have to......"

I heard the doctor start to say the words that shattered my heart, I ran down the stairs along the corridor and into the waiting room, where I dived into my dad's arms, unable to stem the flow of tears.

"Sorry love, I know he meant a great deal to you, but he did as he promised he would, he bought you back to us and I suppose that's his penance for what he did to you"

I gasped and shot my head back, looking into my father's eyes, I could tell by his look he knew.

He knew all about Declan and me and what happened on that terrible day, I hung my head tears still running unabated down my cheeks and whispered.

"You know"

"I guessed" he corrected. " I pieced it all together the way you and he acted around each other these past few months and I must say that boy loved you, I could tell that and he could die happy knowing you forgave him"

"I did more than that dad" wiping away the wetness from my eyes. "I fell in love with him again and now he's gone and I didn't get to tell him till it was to late"

And as my father hugged me, my tears continued to flow freely.