Haste In The Moment - Jaspar AU

10. Coming to terms

A/N: Song because that's what i was listening to whilst writing this and it gave me some sort of inspiration lol :)

Caspar's POV

As I pull away from Joe's lips, I open my eyes and take in what's happened within the last 2 minutes. I've kissed my best friend. Twice. We're now in a 'secret relationship'. It was only yesterday I was with Gaby, Joe wasn't gay (to me anyway), and I wasn't gay.

Gay... I never would've thought it. Every time one of our fans asked us if we were dating, I laughed in their face. Now what am I supposed to do? I can't laugh, that would be lying. I can't admit it, can I? Is Joe ready for that? Am I ready for that?

"A lot has changed since I was here last", Alfie murmurs. I forgot he was even there. I turn to him, and see his slightly gobsmacked expression.

I laughed quietly to myself. So true.

I let go of Joe's waist, where my hands were left dangling loosely, and stand rather awkwardly. I'm not really sure what to say.

"Good on you Casp" he nods at me, before I skip over to him and engulf him in a hug. I haven't experienced a hug with Alfie in so long, and I don't know why. They always seem to make me feel so much better.

As I pull away, Zoe gives me a small kiss on the cheek, and a look that reads 'thankyou' and 'are you sure?' at the same time. I nod to her in confirmation and she gives me a warming smile.

"Are you guys going to go home?" Zoe asks us, one of her neatly plucked eyebrows raised.

I look to Joe, giving him permission to answer for us.

"Yeah, we are" Joe smiles, and I smile too, "I'll go collect my stuff, do you want to call an Uber? They won't be here till ages"

I nod, pulling out my phone. I see him go back upstairs and I can't help but grin.

"Are you sure this is what you want Caspar?" Zoe asks again, as if my nod wasn't enough.

"Zoe," I sigh, "I wouldn't dream of hurting Joe again, not after everything with Gaby. I'm sure"

"Good," she smiles, "I don't think I could deal with last night again"

"That reminds me," I start, "What exactly did he say?"

"He told us everything" Alfie confirmed, "How he accidentally told you about how he... felt.  He was broken. I've never seen him like that"

It's a lot to take in. I just can't imagine Joe being that boy. I mean, I've seen Joe cry before, but by the way Alfie and Zoe are describing it, it seems impossible. You'd never think that the huge Youtuber ThatcherJoe, bubbly, fun, charismatic, could be so... heartbroken.

That was because of me.

"Zoe," I start, but halt. I wonder if this is the right thing to say.

"Zoe am i doing the right thing?" I ask with my eyes closed, not wanting to see Alfie or Zoe's faces.

"That depends," Zoe's voice rings out. I open my eyes hesitantly and come face to face with a confused looking Alfie, and a stern looking Zoe.

"It depends if you do really want this Caspar, or if you're just doing this for Joe's sake. He's a big boy Caspar, he doesn't need you to lie about something this... extreme... to keep him happy. If this really, and truly, isn't what you want, then you seriously have to tell him. Tell him before things really take off Caspar"

I blinked.

"Zoe this is what i want," I confirm.

"Then what's the hold up?" she asks, her perfectly plucked brows furrowed.

"I'll screw up Zoe," I sigh exasperatedly, "One way or another, i will screw this whole thing up, and i'll hurt Joe, and that is something i daren't do. I wouldn't want to hurt him if it was the last thing to do to keep me alive. He.... he means way to much to me"

I felt a tear start to form and cluster up in the corner of my eye.

"Caspar you need to think about what's happening now! Don't think about that, you don't know how your relationship will end up, it might be perfect, and everything you've ever wanted!"

I muffle out a quick smile, and feel the tear trickle down my cheek, like rain falling down a window. I bring my hand up to my face and brush it away with a swift movement.

"Now, you call that Uber, take Joe home, and sort everything out. Just make sure, you know you're doing the right thing. We're always here for you anyway Cas, even though it's a tad weird that i'm Joe's sister and everything. But you know, you're like my brother too, so if you ever need anything, just come up to see us or ring us. I'm sure Alfie wouldn't mind helping either"

Both of our eyes shift to Alfie, who nodded enthusiastically.

"Of course" he smiled.

I smiled back.

I lift my phone up, and find the Uber app. I signal to Alfie and Zoe that i'm going to the other room to call an Uber driver. The last thing i hear, is Zoe sighing loudly, and whispering to Alfie:

"God help them."

Yeah. God help us.

A/N I'm so so so sorry that i haven't uploaded in like a month. I've been so busy with family and stuff, but yeah. I promise to write this story every chance i try to. I've also been thinking about writing another fic. I know what you're thinking 'Oh but Danielle you say this every time and never end up finishing it, or you just forget about it completely'. Yes. I know, okay. I know. But I've never written about this specific pairing before, and I'm such a hardcore shipper. I'm going to be writing it about Drarry (Draco and Harry - from Harry Potter). 

I know many of you may not take an interest in Harry Potter or anything to do with it, but it could really mean a lot to me if you would check the fic out once it has been uploaded, and give me the motivation to carry on writing it. 

Thanks guys

Danni X

(EDIT: MY DRARRY FIC HAS BEEN UPLOADED, JUST THE A/N UP TO NOW. CHECK IT OUT!)