As Strong As They Come

Chapter 1

Chapter One- 2,700 Words

Ava

You know that feeling, when your heart is shattering in your chest, and the world seems to stop? When everything seems to be falling apart, and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it?

I felt like my heart had been blown up, and the remaining pieces were hanging on by a thread. That at any moment, and any hurt could rip the remains of my broken heart from my chest, leaving nothing but a scar.

I can't seem to quite wrap my head around the fact that I'm sitting on my bathroom floor, tears streaming down my face quietly landing on my shirt.

Nothing at this point seemed to matter, my life was nothing but pain, and regret. Hurt, and foolishness. I should have expected this, but who could?

Who could expect their mother to die in their arms? I've been through it with my father, and I should have known how bad it would hurt, but I just couldn't.

I can't accept the fact that I'm all alone in this world. No family, no friends. Not anymore.

I have nothing. I AM NOTHING.

Why can't it be me? Why can't the world swallow me whole? Down into a bottomless pit, where there is no pain? Where I can't feel my heart aching in my chest anymore?

I can't breath. I can't think. I can't make my brain cooperate with my body to pick myself up off this cold floor.

The paramedics pronounced my mother dead at the scene of the crash. It was raining something fierce, and I couldn't see the road even if it hit me in the face.

But no. It didn't hit me in the face. It hit my mother. Hard.

I told her over, and over again to always wear her seatbelt. That she knew what happened to dad, and some way, I think she didn't care. That she wanted to go, to be with him. A part of her died a long time ago, when he did.

But I'm her child. How could she just leave me all alone in this world. With nobody. Did she not ever think of how I would feel? What would hurt me?

My cell phone rang from my pocket, but I didn't have the strength to grab it. I felt weak, and all I wanted to do was lay here and die.

My head was spinning in circles, and my eyes rolled around in my head. I felt sick.

I quickly sat on my knees in front of the toilet, throwing up the pasta my mother and I ate before the wreck. She insisted that we try the new resteraunt down town, disregarding the thousands of protests I had made about the weather.

And now she's gone. Forever. Because I couldn't make her stay. Oh God. Its my fault. I threw up again, and again. Until there was nothing left, but the ache in my chest.

I sat down heaving harshly, my chest rising with the beat of my fast paced heart.

I can't believe this. No, No, No. Please god, take this pain from me. Please, help me. I can't do this on my own.

*Two Years Later*

The busy streets of New York rang in my ears, as I walked toward the bus station, on my way to work at the small crafts store twenty minutes from my apartment. The clatter of feet, and voices talking loudly roared around me.