Smile - Connor Stoll (PJO/HOO)

1

My heart was being crushed in my chest as I watched Piper go aboard the gigantic flying boat.

My only confidant was leaving me.

She was the only one that cared to talk to me when she arrived, to get to know me. The only one who knew about my condition. The only one I could trust with this burden.

I had told her everything a few days ago and she had been a perfect friend. She comforted me, cheered me up, and then promised to help me.

I'll keep my promise, she had whispered in my ear before leaving. When I'll come back, we'll find a way.

I wanted to believe her. In fact, I did believe her, but as the boat started to get higher up in the air, carrying with it my only friend, I could feel despair taking hold of my body. She was gone for god knows how many weeks. It would be hard to go back to being alone every day. Not that I had no other friends, well one to be honest, but it was different, he did not know about... it.

As the boat was about to fly away, I waved one last time at Piper. She waved back and I turned around, going back to the peacefulness of the Aphrodite bungalow. I tried not to cry as I walked away. She would come back. And anyway, I had lived my entire life that way. A few weeks or months were not going to change that.

I try to chase the tears out of my eyes. It was a beautiful and sunny day, everybody would be out enjoying the warmth, it was a perfect time to spend some time alone in the bungalow; it was not often I could have it all for myself.

"Hey, Natalia, wait!"

I stopped when I heard my name. Connor Stoll's voice was easily recognizable. He appeared in front of me, a gigantic grin on his face. His curly brown hair was hanging in front of his blue eyes and he pushed it away in a way I could not help but find really sexy.

"I've got something for you."

A mischievous smile appeared on his lips as he handed me a wooden box. I looked at it carefully. It was a simple wooden box but something inside was making a strange noise. Shaking my head, I handed it back to him.

"Connor, stop."

It was not the first time I was asking him to stop, but no matter how many times I was saying it, it just seemed to make him even more determined to keep trying. I would have admired his determination in another context but for this one, I was not.

Of course, I could easily ignore him but to be honest I did not want to. I liked him a lot. He was nice and funny and charming in his own way.

Those qualities though were exactly why I could not spend too much time with him, especially since he had taken as a mission to make me smile.

He had noticed that I never smile about two weeks ago and since then, he had been constantly joking around, playing prank on me or the others, and even once tried to tickle me just to get me to smile. It would have been a charming gesture if I did not believe it was now more about his ego than my well-being, more especially now that Travis was making fun of him every time he would fail.

As Connor took the box again, his smile quivered. "You didn't even open it."

"You need to stop; it's for your own good." I met his eyes, trying to make him understand the urgency of the situation but to no avail.

He frowned, already opening his mouth to answer but I left before giving him the chance to. I walked hastily toward the bungalow, trying to stay strong. I did not want to be too harsh with Connor, he was one of the only friends I had, or at least I hope he was my friend. When he was not trying to make me smile, we could have pretty deep conversations. He was smart. And he had seen a lot. The battle of Manhattan, for example. He did not talk about it much. I understand why, they had lost many demigods. But even with this, he was still an incredibly funny guy.

After a long day of archery, I would often find solace seeing him coming to me, a crooked smile on his lips, confident that it would be the day he would succeed. And to be honest, it was becoming harder to suppress my smiles. Jokes were easy to dodge because I always had the time to get ready for it but unexpected pranks were the one that almost got me every time. I remember the time he had dyed Lydia's hair a bright green during her sleep. She had been particularly awful to me the day before when I had been talking to him and when she had seen her beautiful blond hair becoming an awful bright green; she had cried and screamed for an entire day. She had deserved it and when I had seen her face, trying not to smile had been the hardest thing I had to do in my entire life.

After that, I had tried to warn him again but he did not understand that I could not smile and that every attempt he made was endangering him. He was stubborn. He wanted more explanations. Explanations I was not willing to give him.

I think deep down I was afraid he would run away from me if he knew. I had tried to keep this secret, not wanting people to avoid me any more than they were already doing.

A girl that never smiles is no fun.

So, the simple fact that Connor talked to me, was my friend, was something I did not want to lose. And I think I also like him more than just friend does. I like him more that I should allow myself to like someone. I could feel it, this feeling of happiness every time I would see him, making it harder to keep a straight expression. I was dreading the day I would smile in front of him and see him become someone else. I knew it would happen if I kept spending time with him.

Closing the door behind me, I crashed onto my bed. Even alone, I did not allow myself to smile. Smiling was a bad habit to take.