Smile - Connor Stoll (PJO/HOO)

3 - Beach (1)

When I stepped on the beach, I was not surprised to find it desert. It was often the case at this time of day as the others were finishing eating lunch. I had barely spent ten minutes there, eating as fast as I could while avoiding everyone's gaze. I knew my outburst had spread across the camp. Many at my table and at other stared at me.

I ignored them, as usual.

The only one I glanced at was Connor. I felt bad when I saw him looking at his food, lost in thoughts, while his brothers were playing with food and laughing loudly. He looked as depressed as I was.

Every time I was letting myself fool by this thought, I was shaking my head. Focusing back on my meal, I had tried not to let myself believe that. He was not. I was his friend, maybe he was concerned, or maybe just shocked I talked to him like that, but let's be honest, he was probably not as depressed as I was.

He did not lose the only remaining friend he had at camp.

So, sad and angry against myself, I had finished my lunch quickly and left in direction of the beach. I loved the peacefulness I could find there. It was a good place to be when I wanted to be alone.

Not that I really wanted to be alone. If only Piper was there, I could talk to her. I needed that. Someone to talk too. Maybe I should call my father, he would like that.

Staring at the sea, I sat on the sand. It was warm and soft against my skin and I sighed, trying to relax and forget about everything else.

"I'm sorry."

Startled, I quickly got up, ready to fight. When I turned toward the intruder, Connor appeared in front of me, his hands sunk in the pockets of his pants. Meeting my gaze, he added:

"For earlier. I did not want to upset you."

I stared at him for a few seconds: he looked genuinely sorry. I sat back on the sand, focusing on the sea ahead of me and put a strand of my hair back behind my ear before answering:

"It's okay."

Connor sat next to me in silence, his arm brushing against mine, and started to play with the sand.

As I observed him, his skilled hands building a sand castle quicker than I ever saw someone do, I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around it. His work was almost mesmerizing. Every one of his gesture was perfectly calculated, making the sand stand in place with what seem like almost no difficulty.

As he was building his fort, we stayed silent and my mind started to race. Why was he staying with me? I said it was okay, he could have left...

I got my answer when he asked:

"Why did you react like that? Why can't I make you smile?"

He did not look at me; instead he kept staring at his now almost finished castle.

"Just because." I sighed, resting my chin on my knees. "It's complicated."

Connor gave me a puzzled look and I felt myself weakening. "I have plenty of time."

I moistened my lips, thinking. I wanted to tell him so much. It would be easiest for the both of us. And at the same time I was afraid it would scare him. I did not want to lose him.

"I don't think I'm ready to tell it to someone else. I'm sorry."

Connor stopped his gesture as my words, making the sand in his hands fell little by little. He stared at me in disbelief: "Someone else? Who knows?"

I raised an eyebrow at his shocked expression. "Piper."

"Why?"

I would have smiled. He was so confused he had let the sand fall off his hand onto his pants making him look more like a ten-year old child than an almost full-grown man. "She's my best friend."