Dead Politician Society

Chapter 24: Jonathan

Jonathan walked slowly through the quad. He loved the midday sun as it beat down on his head and warmed up the nasty thoughts that had been swirling around since the night before, when that party had turned from snobby and awful to deadly. Sun therapy—that’s what he’d recommend if he was a shrink. Forget anti-depression and anti-psychotic meds. Just send patients out for a warm dose of vitamin D. Mother Nature was the best cure for human nature.

Tonight was his official date with Jessica. So fine, he’d won it playing a game and she wouldn’t have given him a second thought—let alone an evening of her life—otherwise. But all that was wrong could be righted through true love. He’d learned that first from fairy tales, then from fantasy novels, and now—well, it seemed to be coming true in the real world as well. All he had to do was make Jessica fall in love with him too—which he could maybe somehow do through Who’s Got the Power—and everything that was broken would be whole again.

Yes. He knew he would probably not think this way if he took his meds. But fuck those things. The sun felt amazing, and why shouldn’t the world feel like a dream?

A shrill voice pierced his sun-filled reverie. “Are you dating Jessica Dunne?”

Jonathan sighed. Go away, Diane, said his thoughts. “Hi, Diane,” said his mouth.

“I have some info. Something you might like to know about her.”

Info. Her favorite commodity.

Jonathan smiled and said, “I’d like to know everything there is to know about Jessica. But I want to learn it from her.”

“We’re being targeted, you know. Not just the class. The society.”

Jonathan walked faster. In his head, he drew a can filled with bright blue paint and stuck it in Diane’s path for her to trip on. Sadly, her little legs walked right through the imaginary can and kept pace with him.

“The card the police showed us today,” she said. “Doesn’t it make you wonder who wants to pin the blame on us?”

He turned abruptly at the corner of a building. Diane took long strides and kept perfect pace.

“What’s your beef with me?” she said.

“Where should I start?” Jonathan threw his hands in the air. It could not be a coincidence that the sun had disappeared behind a cloud the minute Diane had approached him. “I hate what you did to Dr. Easton in your first year. I disagree with everything you stand for—most notably that Jesus is the Way.”

“Oh, come on. You must agree that getting kids back into religion—making it hip and fun—is a better alternative than letting them run wild with gang violence.”

“Must I?” He shifted his oversized knapsack. “Then you must agree that churches rip off taxpayers by not paying property tax on prime real estate. Since the city won’t overcharge homeowners—their main voter base—they force business to pick up the slack. Did you know that Ma and Pa storefronts pay three times their share of tax just so churches get a free ride? In a land where church and state are supposed to be separate, no less.”

“Oh, well, I don’t agree with church and state being separate. I think that’s one of the main problems with society.”

“I think people like you are one of the main problems with society.” Jonathan groaned inwardly at the lameness of his insult. But since his audience was Diane, he didn’t care if he sounded like a four-year-old.

“You’re so sweet. Has Brian Haas approached you yet?”

“About what?”

Diane’s sparkly cross pendant had shifted to the collar of her pink dress shirt. She adjusted it back to the center of her chest. “He wants into the society.”

“How does he know who the members are?” He eyed Diane accusingly. Had she traded the information for something that could help her party? He doubted she would sink that low, but if anyone could blab, it would be her.

“He’s approaching everyone. Even Dr. Easton.”

Jonathan stopped walking. He was about to leave campus for the walk home, but this was interesting.

“He’s desperate,” Diane said. “Something to do with his father and some communist manifesto.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. Obviously. Nor will anyone. He’s not getting an invite, and that’s final.”

“Final according to you?” He was tempted to invite Brian just to piss her off.

“Final according to everyone. Brian has an agenda, and he wants us all to drop everything to help him follow it. Plus, he’s annoying.”

“You have an agenda. You’re annoying. Somehow Dr. Easton saw fit to invite you into the society.”

Diane rolled her eyes.

“Oh, right, I forgot. He’s still apologizing for breaking your heart and not being fired for it.”

“Fuck you.”

“Did you just swear?” He covered his mouth with his hand. “Shocking. How many Hail Marys will they make you do for that in confession?”

“I’m High Anglican. Not Catholic. We don’t do self-flagellation.”

“I wish you would.”