Green Eyes

nine

"I want to fill her up slowly..."

Justin

I craned my neck a little to get full view of the bedside table that held the black digital clock, reading, 10:39am. I'm not the type of person who liked to let the morning go to waste by lying in bed, but considering the time both Marisa and I went to sleep last night, and the massive headache banging around in my head, I'll excuse this morning.

It's been about half an hour since I've brought Marisa upstairs and I haven't allowed myself to do anything else but stare at her features because I couldn't help but notice something. She looks extra innocent; she looks almost fragile as if I dared touched her roughly again that she'd break into millions of pieces.

I don't know exactly what it is that I did but seeing that her mascara ran down her cheek along with a tear, I just wanted to apologize. I don't think she understands the power she has against me because she does. She always knew how to pleasure me, she always knew how to fulfill my needs; for once I'd like to do what she does for me but not with money, not with clothes, not with gifts but with adoration.

Marisa began shuffling around in her sleep, moving over to her side. She now laid on her right side, making her back face me.

I ran my fingertips down her arm along the slick of her robe, passing her waist until I finally reached the center where the knot, that held the robe in place, was at. I gently moved my hand over to grab the ends and slowly undid the knot. I slipped away the robe a little, exposing the skin of her bare left shoulder. Dropping my head down, I let my lips come into contact with her skin, as I left a trail of soft kisses from her shoulder to her neck.

I fucked up last night. I could feel it. No matter how hard things got between Marisa and me, she'd always stay by my side at night and that's what's bothering me; she stayed away. I always treat her like she's worthless in my life but she's not. I truly care for her and her needs. She's my girl and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I let my hand feel up and down her arm, caressing her as I took in a deep breath to relax my thoughts. I wanted to show her, let her feel how sorry I was. I don't want her to be scared when she's around me. I know I have anger issues sometimes but she'd usually tolerate it and push past it. I can't have reached her breaking point and leave me.

I wanted to fill her up, slowly, let her know that I can be gentle when I want to when I need to. I want her to feel pleasure without trying, without feeling the need to do it because it's the only way to make me forget about what we're fighting about; it's the only way to calm me down.

I wanted to hover over her and watch her arch her back, grabbing hold of the bed sheets, trying to control her body from its reaction to the overwhelming sensation. I want to hear the beautiful melody's come out from the back of her throat while she tried to keep it in as long as possible. I want her to say my name, loving that I'm the one who's making her this way.

I might be a jerk to the rest of the world and my girl but if I want her, have to treat her right. I wouldn't be able to say that Marisa is the one for me and that I want to marry her one day and live happily ever after, because truthfully, I haven't thought of us like that.

Our relationship isn't like everyone else's.

It seems like we both just feel the need of having one another by our sides; at least that's what I feel. Marisa fits into my life perfectly as if she's used to everything I associate myself with and how I handle myself. Most girls wouldn't have stuck around for so long like she did. How could I just let a girl who could keep up with me slip through my fingers?