Everything that glitters, ain't gold. (Book 2)

2. Blame it on the alcohol

Saturday September 9th, 1991

Michel'le,

I dropped Drea off at my mom's house so I could clear my head about what happened yesterday. I don't know why I keep thinking about it. I guess I just feel guilty because I was like this close to stooping to his level and that's not me at all. I'm not a cold hearted person, I don't like hurting people especially somebody that I love and care about.

I love and care about Dre and as much as I wanted to fuck him up I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Even though he hurt me physically, and verbally several times but I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him in any kind of way.

I want too but I just really can't do it. I mean I'm not even surprised that I didn't fuck him up because y'all can clearly see that I love him and how he always makes me feel bad whenever he gets upset so I kinda already knew I wasn't gonna lay a finger on his annoying ass. I was just mad, basically talking out of my ass you know?

My mind was telling me "Chel'le you better fuck him up after everything he fuckin put you through." But my heart was telling me "Chel'le you love this man right? So why would you wanna hurt him? This is not who you are. You better not stoop to his muthafuckin level."

And that right there is what stopped me. That's not who I am. I know what it's like being hurt by the one you love and it's not a good feeling so I would never put anybody in the same position I was in.

"And here's the most played song of 1989. Michel'le's hit single, something in my heart." The guy on the radio said snapping me out of my thoughts.

(Press play up at the top and listen to the song while you read this part. 🎵)

Man this song brings back horrible memories. I mean this was a nice song but I didn't even wanna sing it, well I couldn't work like that but of course Dre forced me to do it anyway.

~Flashback~

1989

"Your late." Dre said as I entered the studio. "Why?"

"I um, I overslept." I said scratching the back of my head.

He side eyed me. "Yea I bet chu fuckin did. Hurry up and get cho ass in that booth so we can get this muthafuckin song done Chel'le."

I quickly went into the booth and put the cans on. The beat dropped and I tried my hardest to sing the song but I just couldn't do it. It wasn't working.

I couldn't work like that.

He cut the beat off. "Chel'le I gave you this track a week ago. Where is it?!"

I shook my head as my eyes started to water. "It's not working!"

"If it's not working then fix it! What chu to stupid to do that? Sing the song you stupid bitch!" He shouted at me.

"I can't work like this Dre." I said as I started to cry.

Then he stormed into the booth and grabbed me by my neck. "You gon make me have to kick yo ass if you don't get this track done Chel'le. Sing the song like you feel it or Imma make you feel it when we get in the car! Sing the damn song!"