the rough tides between you and me

heaven knows

Dean was tired of chasing after all these terrible complications of life. He was tired of being left behind as time kept speeding and moving on without him. His rough fingers gripped tightly onto the same twenty dollar bill that Castiel returned a while back; it was crumbled up, the green paper felt like those delicate dead leaves that he'd usually step on and the dollar bill had tiny rips on the sides to show the actual effect of having it saved for more than weeks now. And all he could manage to respond to this problematic memory was, "It will get better," but now he's just whispering honey sweet lies to himself.

He fidgeted with the wedding ring on his finger, a small tear then raced down his face as he knew what was left for him now; nothing. The darkness was closing in and this time he does not believe he'll make it out okay or manage to make it alive. The sun settled down, kissing the ground as it faded away, and all Dean could really think about was how soft Castiel's lips felt against his. It was no longer a nice thought, twisting and turning until it made him feel like he was on the brink of losing his mind just like how he lost Lisa.

Tear after tear, it all came crashing down. Everything he had loved was now all down the drain. Nostalgia washed over him, thinking deeply about the fact that he had lost every single thing that once meant so much to him, and here he was, at home, alone in his bedroom with nothing to bring him the joy he so badly needed.

He took the ring off and put down his dollar bill on the floor next to where he sat. His hands fiddling with the lock of a large box that was hidden inside a box full of his dad's things.

Sammy doesn't need me.

Castiel hates my guts.

Lisa wishes I was dead.

Ben deserves a better father figure.

His heart races, knowing that he is doing something that heaven knows is anything but good. But he's desperate. The cold metal clicks in his hand as his fingers twitch. His frown deepens as he hugs the object, bringing it close to his chest as he rocks back and forth with a loud cry.

"Dean?" He bites his lip to quiet down his sobs. "Dean, are you in here?" The door opens.
There was a painfully long, eerie moment of silence, only the sound of sniffling was heard. "Dean!" Sam shouts, noticing the gun in his hands. Dean flinched.

The sound of a loud bang echoed throughout the house.

word count; 450