flowery road || verkwan

ii || hydrangeas

the next day, i made my way to the hospital with a bouquet of fresh violet hydrangeas in hand.

the nurses i walked past didn't seem too surprised as i had brought multiple bouquets of flowers for hansol throughout the year. he never got to see them because - well - he was comatose. so, the flowers gradually wilted until they were disposed of by the nurses in charge.

when i entered his ward, he was sitting up on his bed. his back was turned in my direction, eyes looking out of the glass pane of the floor-to-ceiling window unfazed.

i walked towards him and sat down on the empty space by his side. i must've pulled him out of his daydream, as he jolted at my presence. however, his surprise was short-lived, thankfully.

'it's you,' he said, brown eyes turning towards me. 'you were here yesterday, right?'

'what were you looking at?' i asked, ignoring his question. i looked out the window, spotting the tiny people in the hospital park. 'do you wanna go for a walk?'

hansol nodded, head still turned towards me. 'can we?'

the fact that he used the word 'we' instead of 'i' made me smile. 'i'll try to think of something. maybe tomorrow?'

he shrugged, looking back out the window. he looked slightly disappointed. in an effort to cheer him up, i put out the bouquet of purple petals in front of him, mustering a smile.

although he liked blue hydrangeas better, i had always thought that he looked better in the violet ones from the many flower crowns i had made for him before. i contemplated getting them in blue, but changed my mind last minute.

'these are for you,' i explained. he didn't move for a moment, but eventually took the flowers from me.

he smiled a little. i guess it worked out in the end.

'thank you, um-' his fingers instinctively fiddled with the bright petals.

'seungkwan.' his eyes glanced back up in my direction, brown uncut hair dishevelled from his sleep. 'i'm boo seungkwan.'

'seungkwan?' he repeated, nodding to himself. 'i'm han-'

'hansol. i know,' i said, cutting him off.

hansol plucked a flower from the bouquet and rested it onto my hand. he let his hand linger on the flower for a moment before removing it and clearing his throat.

'i'm sorry i don't remember you,' he said. there was an apologetic tone to his voice. 'i know it made you feel sad yesterday.'

'oh, it was nothing. it's okay,' i lied, faking another smile.

'stop lying.' his words made me tense up. 'i saw you crying outside the doctor's office yesterday.'

i didn't bother to defend myself. instead, i laughed it off nervously and held the flower up to my face.

we spent the next five minutes in silence, looking out the window in thought and each other's company. it was hansol who broke the awkward atmosphere.

'hey seungkwan,' he asked. 'would you help me with something?'

'of course!' i answered, a little too excitedly. 'i mean, sure. what is it?'

he laughed, his brown eyes glittering at me. my heart caught in my throat. it was as if he knew i was a blabbering idiot.

'would you help me remember things?'

his question made me choke up. the way hansol said it genuinely broke my heart into two. he seemed hopeful, but also sightly afraid. i could've only imagined what it was like for him to wake up and be told that his head was somewhere other than his body.

'of course i will,' i said quietly, slipping the flower in my hand into his hair. 'you don't have to worry about that.'

he smiled gratefully, nodding. it wasn't long before our heads were turned back towards the window.

'hey seungkwan,' he said. 'will you come tomorrow?'

'of course! we have a walk at the park tomorrow, remember?'

he smiled. we stayed through yet another period of silence; this time, a longer one. before i knew it, half an hour had passed.

it wasn't as awkward as before. in fact, it was slightly comforting.

'hey seungkwan.' i turned to lock eyes with the brown haired boy. 'i think i'd like blue on the flowers next time.'

'no can do,' i replied. 'i think you look better with the violet ones.'

instead of disappointment, his cheeks brightened pink.

let's just say we spent the next four arguing over the color of the flowers before the amnesiac said goodbye to his stranger.