If I let you go.

Day after day
Time passed away
And I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before

Miyuki pov.
My life is always around baseball. My father always busy with his work since my mother died. I cannot blame him for that though, that is his way to forget mom. Since then only my father and I at home. Since I was a little I was force to be independent. My father always go to work in the early morning and went home late night. I have to make my own meal and wash my own clothes. Our household only had a small family company. Every time I went home from baseball practice I always look at my father lonely back in his workshop. And that always make me thinking if this will happen to me when I lose someone I love then I don't want to fall in love. It looks so scary when someone who looks so strong and rigid a long time ago reduce to this lonely and sad man.
When I played baseball I feel alive and meaningful. If love will take me from this sport then I do not need love, love is a burden that will make you weak and slow you down. That' s what I think when I was a kid. I still think like that though until I grow up. Baseball take all of my time and mind. I had been confessed by many girls since I was in middle school. But I always reject them all, I want to focused on my baseball carier I said to them. And I don' T lie about that. Once I had a girlfriend due to curiosity. But it only works for 2weeks. It's over when she asked me to choose between her and baseball. Of course I answered baseball immediately. And I still can feel her slap at my face hahahaha.

I really thought that I will be alone for all of my life.
I really thought that I don't need love.
In really thought that love is useless
I really thought that I will never love someone in my life
I really thought that.....

And then that idiot show up.

I have never realized it, not until kuromochi hit my head pretty hard. " Stop looking like love sick idiot, you fool." I look kuromochi with confused face I raised my eyebrow " ma ma kuromochi I don't know you love me that much. since when I look like a love sick idiot." I grin widely. "Who love you,you idiot captain!!" Kuromochi hit me in the head again. "I said stop looking at sawamura with those disgusting loving and gentle eyes that you usually give secretly to him every time you think he did not look" I give him a confuse look. Kuromochi shuffling his hair " aaarrgghhh you damn idiot, you and sawamura are both idiot. If you have not realize your feeling then you are as idiot as sawamura, no, I take it back you are more idiot than sawamura". " awee kuromochi it's hurt to be compared to sawamura you know" I give him my hurt expression. "Hmmph than be a man and confess already! I am so tired looking at both of you like a cat and mouse, well it's more like a cat in heat for you" kuromochi mumble the last part but I can heard him just fine. I sign loudly, it's winter and it's cold outside. " kuromochi I don't know what make you think I like sawamura. Better yet do not tell me that. But I do not have time to think about something trival like love. We already  have a very big problems with couch kataoka might retire and big game ahead of us. We do not need to add more problem at our team." I massage my temple. My head already hurt thinking how to win the game so couch kataoka will stay in the team."Good, if you realized that we do not time to see and witness how hard you fall in love with sawamura. But,....... Aaarrgghhh moooo. Both of you are so troublesome. Solve your own feeling captain. I do not want to see a stupid couple lovely lovely in this sacret ground" kuromochi walking away to his own dorm. "Just..just donot make sawamura cried" kuromochi murmur. "Hah? Did you say something kuromochi?" I asked him. "No, nothing" kuromochi lift his left hand without turning back.

The conversation with kuromochi really bother me. Did I really like sawamura. Kuromochi does not look like he was joking when he said that though. I laid my tired body on my bed. I remember about what happened this morning, that loud mouth idiot really happy that he will play in next match. His golden eyes shone all day, his cheeks had a tint of red blush from his excitement. His puffy cheeks when I teased him and his bright smile when I praised him. He looked at me with his puppy eyes from doom that I cannot refused to catch his balls. I imagine what sawamura would look a like if  someone told him he liked him. He probably will Sutter alot. his cheeck will red until his ears and he will bit his lips tenderly. Gosh those lips are so sinful. So red and plum. So small and soft. I really want to taste those lips. Lick and eat is, bite it and.....

Gosh I am so screw.....

I had fallen hard.