ghost ★ [b. barnes/winter soldier]

★ FIVE - пять ★

five - cold
пять - холодно

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THE FEELING OF DROWNING can be a good or a bad experience. It felt more of like a freezing bath to me, but the feeling of drowning is what made my thoughts roam.

My brain was in overdrive from the ice that was starting to grow on my skin, my thoughts coming out in full force. My forced away memories, my good memories, my past memories, my sad memories, all of them. The demons coming out of their cages I had once locked them in. It was a feeling like no other.

My lungs filling with water as I start to feel the world finally fading around me, Death coming to the glass to stare back at you. The smile on his face, how calm he must be to do his job - to take souls from their bodies. It was a strange feeling, looking into the eyes of Death, but you felt calmer and more relaxed. You felt at peace.

You felt free.

The chilled water seeped into my ears as I could see the ice growing on the outside of the tube I was in, they only way of seeing reality is looking through the cracks in the masterpiece the ice had made. The small, unique details that were sculpted around the glass, the masterpiece such a delicate thing can create.

See what I mean? Your mind tends to enhance and you seem to feel almost better; escaping the reality of the cruel world beyond the water and the glass. The pain. Suffering. Despair. Sadness. Hopelessness.

I felt my vision start to black out, could I finally have my peace? My wish? To be set free?

I gasped for breath when I was brought back up from the water, the process going over and over again. My mind a loop, the same thoughts coming back in a huge cycle.

My body started contracting a new way each dunk, my heart beating like a rabbit's after being chased. It was an awful feeling to come back up, to breath in life again. To watch Death walk out the door, only to whisper "your time hasn't come yet" before disappearing.

I was thrown onto a slick metal surface as I choked and gagged on the water, my lungs shriveling up from the immense pain of the water that filled them. My brain fuzzed up after the torture session, it was too much for it to focus on what was happening. Not like I cared. My eyes were all bubbly and all I could see were stars, the black dots one sees after falling unconscious littered my vision.

Clearly, I was going to live another day to see that torture again. Death wasn't quite ready for me, but who was?

"Still manages to survive, after so many years of no practice," an voice harshly spat into my ear. My body starting to have its own mind, it started to shake from the pain and from the cold. My original clothes were stripped from me before I was given a bath and I was left with nothing more than shorts and a muscle tank.

I twisted in pain when my hands gave out and I slammed my head onto the floor, he called me strong but I still couldn't manage to hold myself up.

My hands were white. My knuckles blue and purple, each having little gashes of where I had fought and the freezing water had crept into my body. My body heat was no where to be found, it was as if it was all washed away. All I could feel was the coldness I had run from for so long.

I clenched my teeth as they started to click against one another, my brain starting to work into overdrive. Why was water torture so hard to endure?

"Throw her back into her cage," I heard someone yell. I winced as it bounced off the walls and hit my sensitive ears, my face scrunching up into pain. Ouch. "Strip her of her garments, she needs to understand what she has missed."