Here I am (FVK)

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I stood in the corner. Alone. At my own New Year’s Eve party. Wow, how lame was that. I watched everyone else around me having a good time. I watched everyone else laughing and having fun with friends or with their partners. I wasn’t having a good time. I wasn’t laughing or having fun with my partner and goodness knows where my friends had got to. My partner wasn’t here. My partner was away.  He was away at war. My partner was fighting for his country. It was something he’d always told me he wanted to do. I was so proud that the man I loved was fighting for our country. He was out there protecting us and I was so proud of him! But I hated that he wasn’t here. He should be here. He should be here to celebrate Christmas with us. He should be here to celebrate New Year’s with us; to celebrate with me. But no. Instead, he’s thousands of miles away from me, getting shot at in a place where I can’t look out for him or protect him. He told me he’d be back by Valentine’s Day. That day was months away. I couldn’t wait.

Everybody around me was dancing, talking, eating and singing. Overall, just making the most of the little New Years Eve party me and the other FVK guys had arranged. I was the only one who seemed to really not want to be here.

“Hey, Shane”

I looked up to see Laurence and Kier standing in front of me. Their arms hooked around each other. Ugh. I love them both, an awful lot, I really do. But they know, better than anyone, how much I miss Drew. Did they have to be like that right in front of me?

“Hey guys” I muttered miserably.

“Don’t stand around moping” said Kier, “Come join the party. Unwind! Have some fuuuun! Forget about Dreeeeew for a little whiiiiile”

I grunted impatiently in response and stalked away. I walked into my room and slammed the door. I went straight to my bed and sat down, burying my head in my hands. Moments later there came a knock on my door, “Barrone? Barrone, can I come in?”

“I guess” I muttered. I don’t think he heard me but Laurence came in anyway and sat down beside me, “I’m sorry about Kier. You know how he gets when he’s drunk. If I had known he’d say that sort of thing I never would have suggested we come talk to you”

“It’s fine. I need to realise that Drew isn’t going to be here for a little while and stop being so touchy when people talk about him. You don’t have to apologize for Kier; it’s really not his fault”

Laurence nodded and pulled me into a hug. I curled up and leant into him; allowing his safe, strong arms to hold me for a while. Laurence released me and looked at me closely, “He’ll be home soon, buddy, I promise. The time will fly by”

I nodded. I knew Drew would be home soon. But I didn’t want him home soon, I wanted him home now. Laurence patted me on the shoulder and smiled at me. I appreciated his efforts, I really did, but they hadn’t worked very well.

“Right, come on” he said, pulling me to my feet, “It’s almost midnight. Let’s go join everyone else. At least pretend you’re having fun, okay”

I allowed myself to be led into the living room to join everybody else. Laurence gave me a brief hug before running off to find Kier. But Kier wasn’t in the direction Laurence went, Kier was beside me. He appeared as if out of nowhere, scaring the crap out of me in the process, “You’ll want to come and see this” he said mysteriously, taking my hand and leading me to the front door. I decided not to argue. It was better to humour a drunken Kier than to anger one. We got to the front door and I stopped. Standing at the door was Drew. I half laughed and half sobbed at the sight of my man standing there. Kier smiled and slipped subtly away. Drew had a wide smile spread across his rosy lips.

“Hey” he ventured softly. I started to cry for real this time. I ran at him as fast as I could and pulled him into my arms. “You’re here. You’re here” I sobbed, over and over. Drew hugged me back just as tight. “Yes, I’m here. I’m here. And I’m never leaving you again” he replied, his own tears causing his voice to break.

I stepped back and looked at him properly. I hadn’t seen him for months. He looked no different. I thought war would change him but it hadn’t. He was still my perfect, little timid.  Tears were staining both our faces but we didn’t care. Drew was home. And he was safe. That’s all that mattered.

“You’re home early”

“Yeah. Our entire party has been sent home. I’m not going to tour again. I couldn’t bare being without you for another minute”

I hugged him again and kissed the top of his head. I was so happy he was home.

We went back to join the party just as the ten second countdown begun. I wrapped my arm around Drew’s shoulders and held onto him tightly. He was never leaving me again.

“3...2...1!” Everybody cheered. I looked down at Drew and kissed his lips. I savoured every second of our first kiss for months. When we broke apart there was a flush to our cheeks that had been gone for far too long.

“Happy new year, timid” he said softly, leaning into me and holding me close.

“Welcome home, soldier” I giggled happily.

Drew was home. Drew was safe. And Drew was mine once again.

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