Daydreams💭

Bonus chapter

Note: This is a bonus chapter for The College Dude. It's not a story.

Bessy's POV

I'm just sitting at my study table trying really hard to study as I have a test tomorrow. But my mind is just not allowing me to...

Today I was just going through Instagram and I saw a pic posted by Tanya and TJ was there too.

It just brought back all the chats and emotions. I tried to ignore it and study...but I just couldn't stop thinking about him...the words just kept playing in my mind... Tanya's call...and everything that happened.

In my mind I was telling him to fuck off but he just wouldn't. No matter how much I tried to push him away...he came back...and when I tried to push him again...he pushed me hard..making me fall.

And the words that he said after that..."I don't even understand why do you think about me?! When I've probably even forgotten that I've ever even talked to you..." He just smirks at me and vanishes.

I don't try to find him...'cause I know he's not here.I pull out of my thoughts and try to study once again but I just can't take it...and then I pick up my pen and start writing on the last page of my book.

"Isn't it funny? When you want to smile the most...you cry the most, and when you want to cry the most...you smile the most. It's infact ironic. No matter how much you try to be nice to people..they just put you down and disrespect you. And you just can't do anything about it. 'Cause you just think that's you should move on and let it be. But somewhere or the other...you just know that that's not possible as no matter what...you will never forget about what you've been through and who put you through all that stuff. And it becomes really irritating when you just can't get that one person out of your head. The words, the talks, the faces...they just keep floating into your mind reminding you how stupid you were to even think that that was the right person to choose, to trust and to talk to....You just can't deny the fact that you still do think about him...You still don't know who that "him" is...In your mind no matter how much you try to tell him to fuck off and leave your mind forever..he won't go...'Cause it's not really him...it's you yourself. YOU are the one who DOESN'T want him out of your mind. YOU are the one stopping him from leaving your mind. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO'S HURTING YOURSLEF!! NOT HIM!! Keep that in mind...and whenever you see him...imagine that it's you yourself...not him."

I close the book and feel that my mind has become lighter than before. And I feel at peace. After writing all this... I kind of feel really relived and better. Now I know what should I do when such thoughts of him or anyone for that matter..haunts me. I just need to imagine that it's me myself trying to mask someone elses appearance and trying to make my own self stressed and depressed. That is the only way I'll be at peace and know that I just need to stop myself and that noone else is hurting me...it's me who's hurting me.
And it's only me who can stop that.

A/N

Hey guys!! This was a bonus chapter and I hope you enjoyed reading. An interesting fact is that this really did happen. And of course I did write that para in my book in real life. I was just expressing my feelings about the whole "the college boy" incident. So this whole chap is based on how I feel about it.

Please vote and comment your views!!

Love ya😘 -B