Dancing alone

Pushed

After Dylan came back down I stopped talking. Eventually mom sent me and Gaby outside. The back porch was already set up for us. They even set up the the swing set in the yard. Even though our yard was now basically a part of the forest it was still in-closed in a fence.

I walked over to the swing set to sit on it. Gaby followed me. I sat on the left one. "Want me to push you?" She asked jokingly. I ignored her. "Is this seat taken madam." She said with a small bow. I shrugged. "Ah come on. Not even a smirk. I am going to get you to at least smile before I leave." I shrugged again. She sighed and sat next to me. "Soo." She said into the silence. "Why don't you like werwolfs?" I sighed. Then began to swing a little. "It's complicated."

"I'm sure I can keep up." Would she just take a hint and give up. "I-uh. I don't want to talk about it." I resisted the memories. Please drop it, I don't want to freak out again. "Why not?"

Breath just breath. "I just, I just, I," my breathing got quicker. Slow your breathing. I suddenly lost control. I felt myself falling. But I wasn't there anymore. I was back there. I was being dragged, I felt everything sliding across my skin and slicing it. I couldn't see anything cause of the bag on my head.

"Let me go." I felt a kick on my ribs and something snapped and I screamed. "Shut up dud before I brake something else." I quickly shut up. But I got kicked again. And again, and again. But I didn't scream, I resisted from crying.

Suddenly it stopped and jolted off the couch I was on. I was screaming tears coming down my face. "Cora! Listen to me it's over!" My mom said trying to hold me and calm me down. I stopped screaming.

My eyes flashed across the room. We were alone. "Shush it's okay. You're safe. It's over." She said holding me and rocking me in her arms. I just cried as she held me and rocked me. Eventually I stopped crying. "You stay here I'll get you some food. Okay?" I nodded and released her.

She left and I heard voices as soon as she left. I couldn't understand what they said but they sounded worried. They didn't leave. My mom soon came back with a piece of lessania. "I'm sorry."

I said looking down in shame. "Don't apologize. I know we never talked about what happened cause I thought you would tell me when you were ready. I didn't know this would happen. How long has it been going on?" She said with a serious face.

She looked like she was on the verge of crying. "About a week after it all happened." I whispered. She looked shocked. "And you never told me. Cora this is serious. You're having panic attacks. This is not something you hide."

I started to cry again. "I- I, I need help mom. I thought I could control it. I thought it was temporary and would go away. Then it got worse and I was afraid to tell you cause then I would have to tell you everything. I can't- it's, still to much." I was sobbing, not in a pretty way, not that I was pretty in the first place.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you have much choice. It's getting worse cause you're holding it in. I'm not saying you have to tell me what happened. I'm just saying that if you want it to stop you have to tell someone. Even if it's yourself."

I sighed. She's right, she always is. I set the food aside. As much as I love it, I'm just not hungry right now. "I gotta go talk to them. They wouldn't leave until they a knew you were okay. Then I gotta cancel a meeting with a new client." She got up and headed to the door.

"Wait!" She stopped and turned around surprised. "I'll be fine. You can go to the meeting." She sighed. She was not buying it, but I wasn't going to give up. "I wont leave you alone. The only one that has the time is Gaby." Why is the universe against me?

I gulped. I can do this. "Deal."